Gor (1987)

"I have to take a pee." - Tarl

A professor is transported via a magical ring to planet Gor, where he helps oppressed people
overthrow their king.
Starring: Urbano Barberini, Rebecca Ferratti, Oliver Reed, and maybe Jack Palance

Link to IMDB

Our reluctant hero

Professor Tarl Cabot is telling his class about an ancient magical ring he has, the ring is supposedly from a planet named Gor in another dimension. Obviously, his students snicker at his crazy theories.
After his girlfriend dumps him, Tarl decides to go camping alone, but bad weather causes him to get into a car crash. Luckily he had the ring on, and it teleports him away to a desert, leaving Tarl confused and lost. He soon sees a barbarian tribe defending their village from evil warriors, but the bad guys are winning and they steal a sacred "Home Stone." Despite hiding, Tarl gets caught up in the battle and accidentally kills a man. The barbarians come to Tarl's aid and after the battle they tend to his wounds. They explain to him that he's in the land of Gor and the ring must have sent him to help them stop the leader of the bad guys, Sarm. Tarl has no idea how to be a hero, but he agrees to help when he realizes that the Home Stone was his ticket back to Earth.

The warrior Talena is tasked with training Tarl to be a fighter, and after a quick montage she has taught him how to use a sword, bow and spear. Tarl and Talena become friends, but soon they have to head off across the desert to retrieve the Home Stone from Sarm. Not wasting time on plot, the movie just has them fight with people as they travel. Lots of fighting, but at least the stunt work is pretty good.

Talena

Sarm

Tired from all that fighting, they just walk through the dirt for the next 20 minutes. When they finally get to the king's castle things get interesting again, as Tarl and his friends need to survive Sarm's warriors and his insane passion for torture.
The acting isn't too bad (Oliver Reed is quite excellent as the sinister Sarm) but most of the characters don't do much, so it feels like wasted potential. There's plenty of good fight scenes, but there's also long stretches of pointless stuff and it ends rather anti-climatically. It would have been a lot more fun if they embraced the exploitation potential, like Deathstalker and most other Conan clones did.

Will Tarl find a way to get home? Will Talena's people ever be free from... Hey! Wait a second! Wasn't Jack Palance supposed to be in this movie!? Oh, there he is, for one minute at the very end!

Be sure not to miss:
- Dwarf butt
- Jack Palance

Internet review:
"Gor is 'gor'bage." - Berkhath

Should I watch it?
It might require beer, but it's not too terrible.

Where can I find it?
It's on YouTube

Gor gets...