The Man Who Saves the World (1982)

"An unknown force pulls us to itself, we go far away from Earth." - Murat

aka: Turkish Star Wars
aka: Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam
Two space heroes battle an evil wizard to save humankind.
Starring: Cüneyt Arkin, and a bunch of other Turkish people.

Link to IMDB

Surprisingly, I've never watched the movie infamously know as Turkish Star Wars, so it's time for some seriously weird sci-fi exploitation from Turkey!

The movie opens with lots of stolen Star Wars footage of the Deathstar battle, as humans battle an evil space Magician. Earth has been destroyed and humankind was scattered across the galaxy. Except that Earth is also not destroyed, and they need to protect it from the Magician. Wait, is Earth the Deathstar now? Or is the Deathstar the bad guy? It's complete chaos and nothing makes any sense, as the narrator delivers this massive slab of historical events in utter confusion.
Fortunately, this prologue has little to do with the movie. Soon the plot gets to its own unique adventure, because this is not a re-telling of Star Wars in any way.

During the space battle, two pilots (Murat and Ali) crash onto a desert planet. The planet just happens to be the home of the Magician, and soon the guys are attacked by his warriors. This is when I realized the movie was going to be silly. The fights are hilarious and exaggerated, as Ali and Murat punch, kick and jump their way to victory. Luckily, there is lots of fighting, because it's always a good time when they're beating up the sloppy looking aliens, monsters and robots.

"These are too ugly, it would be better if some girls come with mini skirts." - Ali

Space magician guy

The evil Magician wants the brains of the two men, so that he can unlock the mysteries of free will and use the power to destroy Earth. (Okay, so our planet wasn't destroyed.) Murat and Ali meet an old man that explains how this planet is just a chunk of the destroyed Earth... (Wait, so it was destroyed!?) This is so confusing!! It's like the movie is constipated and has diarrhea at the same time, but with ideas!
Ali gets imprisoned by the bad guys, so Murat heads off to find a legendary sword that can stop the Magician, but not before giving us one of the funniest training montages ever. The plot gets rather confusing because it can't decide what it's doing. The excitement survives though, with lots of wild fights, mystical shenanigans and even some romance, as Murat plans to save the Earth that may or may not have been destroyed at some undetermined time in history.

What really weakens the movie are the tedious parts, usually when someone is giving useless exposition about the religious history of everything, or pontificating about man's free will and the dangers of war.
When wacky things are happening it's great fun, so the movie has rightfully earned its cult status, but the boring religious overtones drain some of the fun out of the experience. Best viewed with a group, to keep the dull parts lively.

Be sure not to miss:
- That's the ugliest sword ever.
- The Magician feeds on the blood of children, so a surprising amount of kids die in this movie.
- The translated subtitles could be at fault for some misunderstanding, but sources seem to agree that the original script is just as confusing.

Internet review:
"The sort of thing that will have you trapped, mesmerized by the nonsensical insanity." - Beaumont

Should I watch it?
It is worth watching, just be prepared for some painful parts.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Turkish Star Wars gets...

Dead Heat (1988)

"You're under arrest. You have the right to remain disgusting." - Doug

Two cops try to stop zombie criminals!
Starring: Treat Williams, Joe Piscopo, Lindsay Frost, with Darren McGavin and Vincent Price

Link to IMDB

We almost went a month without a 5 Ham rating, but Dead Heat is here to deliver the goods!

Two rowdy detectives, the cool Roger and loudmouth Doug, are on the case of a recent string of violent robberies that have been happening across the city. The perpetrators are nearly unstoppable, and that's because they are actually reanimated corpses! Roger and Doug follow a lead about a chemical found in one of the dead criminals to a mysterious pharmaceutical lab, where they meet Miss Randi James. She assures them that all the research they do is safe, but Doug sneaks off and discovers a zombie in the lab! While Doug fights the fattest zombie ever, Roger gets locked in a decompression chamber and is killed! Holy balls, the movie just killed one of the heroes!

Roger and Doug

Randi makes a friend

You might guess what happens next... Doug puts Roger in a nearby resurrection machine and he is returned to life, feeling good as new! Their coroner friend, Dr. Rebecca, confirms that Roger is actually undead and only has 12 hours before he decomposes into a slimy puddle.
Doug and Roger try to get some answers from Randi, but she doesn't know anything about the research that her recently deceased father was working on. When more uzi wielding zombies attack, Randi is forced to stick with the guys as they investigate a butcher shop in Chinatown. The movie was already crazy, but the madness exponentially increases when all the butchered ducks, chickens and pigs COME ALIVE and attack them! You haven't seen everything until you see a zombie duck dry-humping a man's leg.

Randi: "Hey, you're hurt."
Roger: "Lady, I'm fucking dead."

Following the clues lead them to more danger and surprises, and there are some very unexpected twists to keep you guessing what is going to happen next. With Roger running out of time and sly villains working against them, can the shocking truth about the zombies be revealed and the undead criminals put in their graves, permanently?!

It's a wacky cop comedy mixed with horror and film noir, and has some truly outstanding make-up effects courtesy of Steve Johnson. This easily could have been a wreck, but with good energy, a great supporting cast, and the deconstruction of old clichés make this weirdo movie work.

You want a fat zombie with three noses and a dozen nipples?
You got it !

Be sure not to miss:
- What's with all the hate for aquariums? They take a lot of verbal and physical abuse here.
- A mustachioed Robert Picardo cameo near the start.
- The machine-gun duel between Roger and another zombie, as they stand 2 feet apart!

Internet review:
"This is the kind of movie getting drunk was made for." - unclefrank

Should I watch it?
Yes!!

Where can I find it?
Stagevu or Vidzi links here.

Dead Heat gets...

Magic Christmas Tree (1964)

"Mr. Tree, can you tell me what's going on?" - Santa

A boy discovers a magical Christmas tree that can grant wishes.
Starring: Chris Kroesen, Valerie Hobbs, Richard C. Parish, and Tree

Link to IMDB

Believe it or not, this is in colour.

Three schoolboys are hoping to find excitement for Halloween, so they head over to an old house that has a reputation for being the haunted home of a witch. Two of the boys chicken-out and run home, but Mark is brave enough to discover that it's just an old lady in an old house. Mark is coerced into rescuing the lady's cat from a tree, but he falls and gets knocked unconscious when he lands on his head.

Previously in black and white, the movie now switches to colour when Mark wakes up. Turns out the lady is a witch after all, and she rewards Mark with a magic ring and a magic seed. If he plants the seed it will grow into a special tree that will grant him three wishes. The tree grows overnight in Mark's yard, but it won't be wish-granting size until Christmas time, so the kid just has to wait.



Next is one of the weirdest, most awkward comedic scenes ever put on film! Mark's dad plans to mow the lawn, but is very confused when he discovers a new tree has grown there overnight. The scene is just bonkers. The uncontrollable lawnmower makes the most insane noises, like a honking tuba being used as a bowling ball. The dialog between the parents is borderline nonsense, as the dad tries and fails to chop down the tree. All of this is constantly interrupted with shots of Mark's pet turtle eating grass, as though it's an essential piece of the plot. The only thing I could do was laugh.

Christmas time arrives and Mark discovers the tree can talk, and this tree has a seriously sassy attitude! The tree makes its way inside the house and decorates itself. Using the magic ring, Mark is finally able to get his wishes. His first wish is for "an hour of power" which he completely wastes by just playing pranks on the neighbourhood. His next wish is to have Santa Claus all to himself. With Santa trapped in Mark's house, Christmas will be ruined for everyone in the world, but Mark won't let him go until he gets some gifts. That's right, it's Santa extortion!
Mark's adventure doesn't end there, but with only one wish left can he set aside his greed and let Santa bring Christmas to the world? Maybe a visit from a child molesting giant will teach him a lesson... Oh my god.

Santa regrets everything

This movie is just so weird, with quite a few moments of unintentional surreal genius. It's not as demented as Santa Claus vs. the Devil or Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, but it's made in a similar style and has enough oddness to make you question the sanity of the filmmaker. Some parts drag but it's only an hour long, so there's little tedium. It's clumsy enough to look like a high school project, but that's part of the charm here. They were trying to make a fun Christmas movie for families to enjoy, instead they created a disaster that will only be appreciated by fans of the absurd and awful.




Be sure not to miss:
- What are the magic words? Rimmed Bum, Harry Newman, Pole??
- Someone call PETA. Mark makes his tortoise live in a drawer!
- "Parties? Girls? I sure feel sorry for you."
- Mark has a big butt. It looks 30 years older than the rest of his body.

Internet review:
"I can't stop watching it! Someone make me stop!" - patskywriter

Should I watch it?
Definitely worth seeing.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Magic Christmas Tree gets...

Time Runner (1993)

A man from the future tries to prevent an alien invasion.
Starring: Mark Hamill, Rae Dawn Chong, Gordon Tipple, and Brion James

Link to IMDB

Raynor, time tripping

In the year 2022 aliens have begun attacking Earth, and the scientists and military are fighting back with everything they've got. One soldier, Michael Raynor, escapes a space battle in his ship but is sucked into a wormhole and transported back in time to 1992! (The same year the movie was made! Coincidence!?) The government finds his crashed ship and Dr. Karen Donaldson does some science on it with Pink Floyd lasers, but she's told by her angry superior, Freeman, that she better forget all about this UFO.
Meanwhile, Raynor wakes up in a nearby barn, confused about where and when he is. (Don't you just hate when that happens?) He's shocked to discover he has traveled back 30 years, and is also having visions of the near future as a side effect of the wormhole.
Freeman wants to capture Raynor but Dr. Karen offers to help him escape, and thus begins a chase across the country. Raynor realizes his visions are of a possible future, and that his actions can change what will happen.


Things are still going to hell in 2022, and it seems like Earth President Neila is working with the aliens! A lot of people yell at each other in the future, so we have that to look forward to. Back in '92, Raynor is having his own alien troubles when he realizes Karen is one of them! She claims to know nothing about a planned invasion and is just a friendly scientist. Karen seems honest, so Raynor chooses to trust her, and she can help him avoid Freeman as they follow Raynor's wormhole visions for answers.

"I don't know nothing about any worm whatevers." - Old farmer

Karen

Freeman

The movie is pretty clumsy, so you just have to turn off your brain and coast on autopilot. There are gunfights and chases to distract you from the plot holes, and the characters are likable enough, but Hamill looks and sounds very disinterested the whole time.

Neila

Eventually, Raynor's plan is to contact Neila in 1992, hoping that the aliens haven't influenced him yet and he can alter future events by making sure the alien war never starts. In another vision Raynor realizes that today is literally his birthday, and Freeman plans to kill his mother before she can give birth!
There are interesting twists as loyalties are betrayed and unlikely friends are found, but will Raynor be able to save his future by saving his past in the present? Or wait... Is it save the present by preventing the future in the past?? Oh fuck, I don't know!
It's a typical, no budget, quasi-Terminator ripoff, but a lot of it just struggled to make sense.



Be sure not to miss:
- Laserdisc as mobile storage? Come on, that wasn't logical even in 1992.
- Freeman looks like Randy Quaid and Sting from Dune mixed together...

Internet review:
"I kept watching thinking it has to get better than this, but that didn't happen." - Geenoh

Should I watch it?
Worth seeing if you're truly bored, but set your expectations low.

Where can I find it?
The vidzi link here.

Time Runner gets...

Scalps (1983)

"Have you guys gone wacko?" - Ben

A group of students disrupt an Indian burial ground, pissing off some old spirits.
Starring: Richard Hench, Jo Ann Robinson, Frank McDonald

Link to IMDB

Old Iron Wing delivers a warning.

Professor Machen is preparing for an archaeological expedition, but when he receives a reminder that disturbing Indian burial grounds is illegal he changes his plans. Seems like the Prof has not been following the rules, so instead he sends six of his college students out into the desert to investigate a new site for him.
They have car trouble and stop at a country gas station, there they meet an old man that warns them the expedition will end with their deaths if they go near the area called Black Trees!
Not being afraid of old superstitions the group continues on their way, but they are being watched by an angry Indian-spirit and/or lion-man thing... I don't know. There's some random images thrown in to create foreshadowing of their doom, and it makes no sense.

The music is pretty cool though, lots of spooky drones create an unsettling ambiance. Nothing is happening, and yet the promise of danger ahead is made tangible. Would you like to see about 30 minutes of camping and hiking? I hope so! Finally, they get to the Black Tree site and start digging up graves to find artifacts. The movie very slowly builds the strangeness, but eventually everyone is getting freaked out by the native spirits that are trying to scare them off the sacred land.

"This ground is alive with....evil." - DJ

Sitting around

Standing around

One of the guys, Randy, starts acting strange after a disembodied ghost-head explodes in his face (well, who wouldn't?) and he becomes possessed by a vengeful spirit. Finally, all the death that was promised is here! The killings are bloody gross fun, as the movie becomes more of a supernatural slasher flick. The climax is as bizarre as I was hoping, it just took forever to get there!

Overall, it's not truly disappointing for low budget horror. The ominous atmosphere has lots of weird stuff mixed in for laughs, but there's long boring portions that tested my patience. Scalps is an interesting mess, and most sane people would turn it off after 20 minutes. I liked it... sort of.

The director (Fred Olen Ray!) said that the movie was edited against his wishes, and that some test footage and outtakes were added as filler. I think this explains some of the random things we see, like lion-man, because they just become unintentional comedy.

Be sure not to miss:
- The end credits promise a sequel, but it was never made.
- The professor "bought the map from an old man." So that's how universities do research?
- "Sorry, I know this is boring." That's right Randy, but your apology is too little, too late.
- Rats enough! The rat (Roger) is even mentioned in the end credits and had his own hairstylist!!

Internet review:
"I awkwardly kept watching." - Kioku

Should I watch it?
Could be fun with a group of drunk people. Otherwise, it gets too dull.

Where can I find it?
The stagevu link here.

Scalps gets...

Vibes (1988)

"You know how hard it is to buy Goobers when you're out of your body?" - Sylvia

Two psychics are hired to find an ancient temple in Ecuador.
Starring: Jeff Goldblum, Cyndi Lauper, Peter Falk, Julian Sands... Yes, the cast is awesome!

Link to IMDB

The opening scene shows us two American men discovering ancient ruins atop a mountain, but when they uncover a glowing artifact it violently blasts them with special effects! Oh boy, I'm getting good vibes already.

Nick Deezy and Sylvia Pickle are two eccentric psychics, currently studying (and being studied) at a research center for paranormal sciences under the care of Dr. Steele. Nick can see the history of objects he touches, and Sylvia can communicate with the "spirit world" and astral project. Despite their supernatural gifts, they have ordinary lives with ordinary problems. Nick happily works at a museum but is breaking up with his girlfriend, while Sylvia spends her time looking for someone to fall in love with.
Opportunity comes knocking when a man named Harry wants to hire Nick and Sylvia to go to Ecuador with him and use their psychic powers to help find his lost son. Being desperate for the reward money, they both agree to help Harry.
Nick and Sylvia don't exactly like each other, but you can tell there's a mutual attraction brewing. The characters are goofy, but established well and it promises some good laughs are ahead.

"I like breathing. I'm good at it." - Nick

Harry

Once they get to Ecuador the cracks in Harry's story start appearing and he's forced to reveal the truth. There is no lost son, instead he wants Sylvia and Nick to find what happened to his friends that were searching for lost gold treasure. Ingo, a grumpy paranormal colleague, also arrives and starts snooping around. While preparing for the adventure someone tries to kill Nick! It seems like Harry isn't the only one searching for the treasure, and he's made a few enemies. When they head out into the mountain wilderness they are being followed by Ingo and other mysterious people that want to get to the treasure first.
As they get closer to the ancient ruins, Nick and Sylvia sense danger all around them, and are aware of a psychic power that is more powerful than anything they've felt before!



The climax comes when they face their rivals at the ancient ruins, but those final 15 minutes are rather underwhelming. The movie is fun when it works, so I didn't let the weak ending ruin the adventure that came before, but the thin plot does prevent this from being a classic. Goldblum and Lauper give decent performances that I expected, but it's Peter Falk that steals the show with his unique mannerisms and expert wisecracks.

Vibing and dining

I was surprised to never have heard of this movie before, but it's worth a look for anyone curious about forgotten cheesy gems of the 80's.

Be sure not to miss:
- Ingo dresses like a ghostbuster for the second half of the movie.
- Steve Buscemi!

Internet review:
"I consider this movie a friend." - SirWizard

Should I watch it?
When you want some good, lighthearted fun.

Where can I find it?
Links here. I used vidzi.

Vibes gets...

Corvette Summer (1978)

"I don't wanna hear any jokes about my car." - Kenny

A young man spends the summer in Las Vegas, trying to find his stolen corvette.
Starring: Mark Hamill, Annie Potts, Eugene Roche, Kim Milford

Link to IMDB

Kenny Dantley is just finishing high school, busy restoring a corvette he rescued from the scrapyard as the final project of auto-shop class. Despite it being a group project under the guidance of his teacher and mentor, Mr. McGrath, Kenny loves the car like it was his own and puts all his passion into the restoration. His hard work pays off, because the car becomes a turbo-charged masterpiece when he's done with it.

Unfortunately, on their first night of celebratory joyrides, the car gets stolen! The police think the corvette has likely been chopped-up and sold, but Kenny's determined to find it himself. He gets a tip that his car was spotted in Las Vegas, so with just a pocketful of dollars he starts hitchhiking his way across the desert. Kenny gets a ride from the saucy Vanessa, a hooker in training (her words, not mine.) Neither of them realize how rough the streets of Vegas will be, and after a string of bad luck they decide to stick together, living in Vanessa's van.



It's clear to see these two goofballs are probably going to spark some romance, and the chemistry they have is both hilarious and genuine.
Kenny spots the corvette a few times on the busy streets but it always eludes him, so he and Vanessa get daytime jobs where they can keep their eyes open for the car. When Kenny finally follows the car to the garage of some thieves, he discovers much more than he expected, and even Mr. McGrath has to come sort things out.

The movie soon takes a change here I won't spoil, but Kenny's life is turned upside down when he is faced with the truth and scope of the situation. There's more going on with his car than expected, and Kenny's forced to make the hardest decision of his life.
Can his obsession for the corvette be forgotten, or will it his be his undoing? Will he follow his dreams or will he become his own greatest enemy?

"Why don't you write a letter to the car? Dear car, I miss you so much..." - Vanessa

Corvette Summer is a fun adventure about growing up and chasing your dreams, but also tinged bittersweet with the loss of innocence in a world that can be so cruel. Hamill's not especially known for his acting skills, but he's great here! Kenny and Vanessa are both likable characters, with humour and layers that make them feel real. It's a good story that is smart enough to know when to have fun and when to keep it serious, and even has some high-speed chase scenes for the cars to been shown in action.

The corvette

Be sure not to miss:
- The kiss from his mom was weird.
- It seems like we can't go a month without a cameo from Brion James. And there's Dick Miller, too!
- Tico makes Kenny ride in the trunk when he's all dirty.
- The same director as The Legend of Billie Jean.

Internet review:
"This gloriously addictive curio keeps on rolling." - Gill

Should I watch it?
Recommended!

Where can I find it?
I used the vidzi link here.

Corvette Summer gets...

976-EVIL 2 (1991)

"Out of the darkness into the light,
comes your horror-scope on this dark and stormy night." - Telephone

aka: 976-EVIL The Astral Factor
A killer gets mystical powers from an evil telephone line.
Starring: Debbie James, Patrick O'Bryan, Rene Assa, and George Buck Flower

Link to IMDB

Robin

Evil has once again been influencing people through phone calls, as a serial killer has been murdering local high school girls in the town of Slate River. Our friend Spike survived the first movie, and he's been drifting around the country trying to put the past behind him. Tormented by the memories of the evil phone powers, he heads to Slate River when he hears about the killings.
Thanks to a witness, a prime suspect has been arrested. It's a well respected college teacher, Mr. Grubecka, and this shocks everyone but especially Robin, his young assistant. Despite not being psychic, Robin has been having visions connected to the killings and she's confused about what they mean.
Grubeck doesn't seem worried about being in custody and his first phone call is to 976-EVIL, because for the last month he's been obeying the evil deeds that the telephone compels him to do! It warns him that he's in danger from "another," but also fills him with demonic powers!



Spike and Robin meet and eventually bond over their shared visions. He explains to her the evil powers that the 976 number has, and that it's been controlling Grubeck. Robin becomes the center of the story, as Grubeck's obsession for her seems to be what drives him. Despite being in a jail cell, Grubeck's new powers allow him to leave his body while he sleeps and astral project his spirit around. Now he's free to kill again, and he goes after the people that are keeping him in jail. The kills and evil shenanigans are fun, with some cheesy special effects and crazy car stunts to add excitement.
The evil powers seem to remember Spike and try to scare him off, so he goes to a local occult shop to find some answers on fighting evil. With new knowledge, Spike and Robin take the fight to Grubeck before he can get his pervy hands on another victim.

Grubeck places a call

Spike, more badass than ever

This was a pretty disappointing sequel. The first movie was crazy, but it made sense that a guy would let himself turn evil to get revenge. Here there is no motivation or descent into madness established. Grubeck is just a pervert with spirit powers which he uses to kill people. Basically, the evil telephone stuff is thrown in there so they could call it a sequel. It's also pretty tame compared to the first movie. There are a few glimpses of inventive fun and weird moments, but overall it just feels too generic.

Be sure not to miss:
- Monique Gabrielle played the lawyer.
- Talking boar head!
- A full version of the zombified It's a Wonderful Life should be made. I would watch that!
- Some of the music was written by Vincent D'Onofrio.

Internet review:
"It just doesn’t give a damn to be anything but barely competent." - Gallman

Should I watch it?
It's an average cheesy thriller, not a must see.

Where can I find it?
The stagevu link here works.

976-EVIL 2 gets...

Silent Night, Deadly Night part 2 (1987)

"I've got a present for you!" - Ricky

A man tells the murderous tale of how he and his brother really hate Santa Claus.

Starring: Eric Freeman, Elizabeth Kaitan, James Newman, Jean Miller

Link to IMDB

Don't worry if you've never watched part 1, because part 2 shows everything that happened in the previous movie. Seriously. The first 35 minutes is mostly just reused footage explaining part 1.

Ricky and Doc

We meet Ricky Caldwell as he sits in an insane asylum being interviewed by a doctor about the troubled past that he and his older brother, Billy, went through. Recapping large portions of the first movie, we are shown their backstory in detail. Billy was traumatized at a young age when a man dressed as Santa Clause killed their parents, and then was abused at an orphanage by a strict nun. When he turned 18, Billy went on a killing spree dressed as Santa, hoping to get revenge on the "naughty" people that warped his mind, and was eventually killed by the police in front of young Ricky.


The backstory scenes all feel disjointed, because it's an extensive amount of footage from the first movie that looks messy when edited into fragments. Why am I forced to re-watch the first movie when I want to watch Part 2?! Well, at least we get to see some wacky deaths, and the occasional scenes between Ricky and the Doc are oddly humorous.

Anyways...
Finally, we get to Ricky's story and learn how he ended up in the asylum. The narrative feels much better from this point on, and Ricky's story was worth the wait. He grew into his teens without problems but eventually kills a few people, although he's still able to continue his life as normal. Until one day when he is betrayed, and then Ricky snaps just like his brother did and goes on a killing spree! The movie is finally giving me what I want and it is glorious, full-bonkers mayhem!!

This leads him to being committed to the asylum, and it catches us up to the present day. But Ricky's story is not over, because today is Christmas eve and he must find a way to finish the revenge his brother started!

"You tend to get paranoid when everyone around you gets dead." - Ricky

Lit up like a Christmas tree

Despite the first 35 minutes being a pointless backstory that is mostly way too serious and slow, the movie does eventually deliver the goods with hilarious deaths and cheesiness. Eric Freeman gives an intense and goofy performance, making Ricky a memorable character that's compelling and difficult to categorize.
I guess all the reused footage might not be a bother if you haven't watched part one. I really enjoyed the second half, though. It doesn't try to be a dark slasher flick, it's more of a cheap thrill ride about a crazy guy with Santa issues.

Be sure not to miss:
- Ricky's eyebrows are constantly jumping up and down when he talks.
- The infamous Garbage Day moment!
- The movie Ricky watches at the cinema is also a scene from part one! But the trailer for "Chaos" sure sounded good.

Internet review:
"A terrible film that I find endlessly watchable." - Brain

Should I watch it?
It's a pretty fun time, once you get past the awkward beginning.

Where can I find it?
I used the vidzi link here.

Silent Night, part 2 gets...

Jungleground (1995)

"You don't get it cop. Down here you're one of the bad guys." - Posie

An undercover cop must survive the night in violent gang territory.
Starring: Roddy Piper, Peter Williams, JR Bourne, Torri Higginson

Link to IMDB

Jungleground is the most dangerous part of the city, where drug dealers and ruthless gangs rule the streets with violence. Even the police have stopped trying to control the chaos, and the area has become a war zone. Lt. Jake Cornell and his small team are the last cops in town that are still trying to make a difference in Jungleground, and with pressure from the feds they plan to go undercover and try to find where the drugs are coming from.

They meet with Dragon, a lieutenant in the Ragnarocker gang that are actually against having any drugs on their turf, so despite being criminals they might be able to help. The meeting goes horribly wrong and becomes a gunfight! Cornell is captured by the gang when they discover he's a cop and they take him to their leader, Odin. After torturing him for fun and to learn about his personal life, Odin decides to play a game. If Cornell can make it out of Jungleground before dawn, then no harm will come to his girlfriend, Sammy, that they have kidnapped.


Stripped of his belongings, Cornell is forced to rely on his wit (and some wrestling moves) as a group of the toughest Ragnarockers are hunting him through the urban wasteland. He finds some unlikely help along the way, but Odin unleashes his entire army upon him as he gets closer to escaping. There's lots of action and a few laughs, with explosions and fights keeping the rather dark story moving at a fast pace. With Cornell using his police training wisely, he's able to stir up arguments among the gang members which adds another layer of complexity to the conclusion.

"Everything's a game." - Odin

Odin

Dragon

There's not much story besides the action, but what is here works well. I liked how Cornell's girlfriend was established, and the inner politics of the gang added a nice touch of pathos and/or batshit-insanity to some of the characters.

We've seen Roddy in better movies, but it's still ten times more enjoyable than The Shepherd or Sci-Fighters. My main complaint is just that Roddy doesn't have enough fun dialog he can play with. It's nothing original but still a solid B-action movie.

Be sure not to miss:
- I was hoping to hear more wacky dialog from Gameshow.
- Nicholas Campbell and Earl Pastko with small roles. Yup, it's a Canadian film.

Internet review:
"Jungleground... It's not just a movie title, it's a way of life." - gordo

Should I watch it?
It should fix any cravings for action you might have.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Jungleground gets...