Honor and Glory (1993)

"I chase honor, but you chase glory." - Tracy

A team of karate pros try to stop a dangerous business man.
Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Donna Jason, John Miller, Chuck Jeffreys, Robin Shou

Link to IMDB

Joyce is a busy news reporter investigating a scandal that surrounds a powerful international business man named Jason Slade. Joyce only suspects Slade of stealing funds from his investors, but we soon learn that he's far more evil. Not only does Slade murder anyone that gets in his way, he's also trying to get his hands on an atomic weapon!

Joyce's sister, a FBI agent named Tracy, has come to town to visit and she decides to help her sister get dirt on Slade. We also meet a mysterious guy named Jake who is one of Slade's bodyguards. Jake's getting sick and tired of working for a dangerous asshole, and he starts contacting Joyce to see if he can trust her enough to help her stop Slade.

Tracy                                     Joyce

This is more of a crime thriller than an action movie, and the first half spends time establishing all the characters with just a few brief fights. I was never bored though, since the story is good enough to make sense and I was really invested in how everything was coming together. There's also plenty of good laughs to find here, among the clumsy acting and cheesy vibes.

"Only death can retire Jason Slade." - Slade

 Jake                                       Slade

Jason Slade makes for a very intense villain, and he creates the ultimate atmosphere of danger as Tracy and Joyce get closer to uncovering his true motives. There's a good ensemble of B-movie regulars here and everyone is also a professional athlete, so all of the fighting is well put together.

This movie might be simple and cheesy but there are some twists to be surprised by, and there's a sense of fun in every scene without ever succumbing to just being dumb. It's easily a highlight of the month for me.

That concludes Cynthia RothRocktober month.
She may not be much of an actor, but she sure does have a cool screen presence and is always ready to kick some serious butt and do her own stunts.
Overall, most of her movies I watched were pretty decent, and I'm probably a karate expert by now!

Be sure not to miss:
- A creative use of a volleyball net.
- "Do you know a nuclear trigger from a Bulgarian dildo? Because I don't."
- Nothing funnier than drop-kicking a soda can into someones face.

Internet review:
"This movie is pure genius. It really is." - Brett

Should I watch it?
Yes.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Honor and Glory gets...

Fight to Win (1987)

"They love to eat my kicks, and I love to feed them." - Ryan

aka: Eyes of the Dragon
An arrogant fighter must train to win back mystical statues from his rival.
Starring: George Chung, Cynthia Rothrock, Chuck Jeffreys, Richard Norton, Hidy Ochiai

Link to IMDB

When I saw that Cynthia Rothrock was in a movie from the same creative minds of Low Blow and Hawkeye,
I knew that I had to watch it immediately!

The movie begins by telling the history of three ancient stone idols that represent power and prosperity among the martial arts community. Whoever owns them is supposedly granted with good luck and skill in combat, so they have always been highly revered artifacts.

Ryan

A young man named Ryan Kim has inherited two of these idols, and with them seems to come good fortune for Ryan. In fact, he has such good luck at kung-fu tournaments that he's become a cocky, arrogant and loud-mouthed guy that disrespects his opponents.

When a man named Armstrong challenges Ryan to a fight for ownership of one of the statues he's quick to accept. But then Ryan's sensei is hospitalized with a heart-attack just before his training for the big fight was to begin, and now he's too worried and stressed to get prepared.

Ryan loses the fight and Armstrong collects his statue. A rematch is then decided, but this time the winner will take all three idols. Now Ryan realizes the serious of his situation, but his sensei still isn't well enough to train him.


Ryan's sensei has a plan though, and her name is Lauren...
Lauren is one of the best fighters in the city, but Ryan's bad attitude gets in the way the moment he sees her. He doesn't want to be trained by a lady, but Lauren quickly proves that she has more skill than he does, so he agrees to be her pupil.
Time for a training montage, of course, and Ryan slowly gains respect for Lauren as they bond and he begins to set aside his inflated ego.

Lauren                                     Armstrong

This movie has a great balance of seriousness and silliness, creating fun vibes with lots of laughs alongside the more sincere story of Ryan and Lauren. Well, the sincere moments usually create laughs too, because there's no doubt that this is a wonderfully sloppy low-budget movie.
Instead of just mindless action the fights are actually here to serve the story, but the last 15 minutes do rev up the action quite a bit when Armstrong proves to be more devious and dangerous than expected.

Lauren: "I think you've been watching too many ninja movies."

Ryan: "No, it's been Rambo lately."

Everyone seems to be having a lot of fun here, with an excellent cast of supporting characters who all have funny snippets of dialog and the chance to throw a few punches around. Even though it all feels rather haphazard, the story remains (mostly) sensible and keeps its focus on Ryan and Lauren's journey.

As I mentioned, I'm a fan of the director/writer's other movies, and Fight to Win delivered the same wacky buffet of B-movie entertainment that I was hoping to find.

Be sure not to miss:
- The boom mic makes more than a dozen appearances.
- "Or This Happened."
- Paul's story about his granny with no arms or legs.
- Troy Donahue makes a brief cameo in the opening flashback story. It looks like footage from another film, but I couldn't confirm it.

Internet review:
"HIGHLY recommended to those who like martial arts, and cheesy low budget 80s movies." - JFredrickson

Should I watch it?
Yes!

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Fight to Win gets...

Tiger Claws 2 (1996)

"If it's games you want, I'll play." - Tarek

Two cops infiltrate an underground martial arts tournament.
Starring: Jalal Merhi, Cynthia Rothrock, Bolo Yeung, Evan Lurie, Ong Soo Han

Link to IMDB

A few years have passed since Linda and Tarek put Chong (aka the Death Dealer) behind bars for murdering people with the Tiger Claw fighting style. Linda has moved to San Fransisco while Tarek stayed in New York, but they're both still working as cops.

There's a lot of set-up in the first 30 minutes, but the main story is that Tarek is trying to catch a crime boss named Victor. When Victor helps Chong bust-out of prison and escape to San Fransisco, Tarek pursues the two men to the west coast.
Now that Linda and Tarek are in the same city they can work together to find Chong and stop whatever illegal schemes that Victor is working on.

Tarek                                          Linda

Victor and Chong have come to San Fransisco to meet with a man named Dai Lo Fu. Not only is Dai Lo Fu helping Victor smuggle weapons around, he's also planning a mysterious martial art tournament that Chong is an important part of.
Tarek decides to go undercover and participate in the tournament in order to stop all the bad guys, but things are going to get pretty weird...

Chong                                      Victor                                   Dai Lo Fu

What starts as a basic police drama slowly becomes a typical tournament movie, which would be fine, but things fly off the rails when fantasy elements get introduced.
Dai Lo Fu's tournament is all about him and Chong being "sacred tiger brothers" of the "black art," and now they need to combine their power to complete a ritual that will bring the past and the future into the present through a time portal!!
Say what now?

All the fantasy mumbo-jumbo feels completely random and pointless, but it entirely replaces the original plot that was going on. My guess is that they were trying to ride on the success of the recent Mortal Kombat movie by adding some mystical crap. It might be totally unnecessary, but at least it does provide plenty of two things... Laughs and fights.

The combat here is pretty good, with all sorts of martial art expertise on display, especially during the tournament when we get a variety of talented fighters jumping around. My main complaint would be that Cynthia Rothrock feels more like a sidekick, instead of being a part of the main action.

As a sequel, this movie becomes a big let down with the shift into the fanciful territory of time travel. It does remain entertaining enough, especially with all the good fight scenes and the actors hamming it up, but it's an ill conceived attempt at mysticism that does not fit with the original story.


Be sure not to miss:
- The skeleton tied to the wall in the dungeon looks so sad.
- Victor and Chong drive across the country in an old bus. It's basically the last thing a criminal would want, and looks more like a vehicle The Muppets would drive. I'm not sure if the comedy was intended but it's rather funny.

Internet review:
"A fun martial arts movie. Just don't go looking for plot." - BigGuy

Should I watch it?
It's okay, but not a very good sequel.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube, or better quality with vidzi.

Tiger Claws 2 gets...

China O'Brien 2 (1990)

"It's tough sometimes, being a woman." - China

This time China's defending the town from a deadly fugitive.
Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Richard Norton, Keith Cooke, Harlow Marks, Frank Magner

Link to IMDB

It's been a few years since China became sheriff and cleaned-up all the organized crime in her hometown, and with help from her friends, Matt and Dakota, the peace has been easy to maintain. The serenity is about to be destroyed though, as a dangerous escaped convict named Charlie Baskin and his gang of loyal thugs are on a rampage of revenge across the country, and Baskin's next target is China's very own small town.

Baskin's reason for coming to town is to find a local man named Frank, who owes Baskin a lot of money, but Frank is now a simple family man and can't protect himself. As Baskin's men start tearing-up the town looking for Frank, it's time for China to start kicking ass.

"I'm gonna personally kill that bitch!" - Baskin

China                                         Matt                                   Dakota

Baskin is a military trained expert with weapons and explosives at his disposal, and since he's not leaving town until he gets what he came for he takes hostages to prove how serious he is. Even with help from the FBI, this might be a job too dangerous for China, Matt and Dakota to handle before their town is turned into a war zone!

Frank                                         Baskin

Overall, this wasn't quite as good as the first one but it's still a solid sequel. The story wastes no time with pointless filler, it establishes the bad guy's motives and sets everything into motion right away. It's not profound drama or anything, just good old fashioned late 80's action.
Once again, the fights are really good despite sometimes being a bit basic, since China's usually just fighting average goons in denim. There's still some cool stunts to see, though.

Sprinkled throughout the movie are a few moments of comedy which is a bit clumsy, but since it usually serves to show how badass China is, I'm not complaining. Some levity is good here, because Baskin does bring a lot of intense villainy in the later half.

One odd thing with the version I watched was that the fights were very slightly sped-up. The effect was not in the original movie itself, so I have no idea why the uploader would edit the movie like that, but it's only a minor annoyance.

Be sure not to miss:
- Billy Blanks has a small cameo.
- The first movie was all about flannel, but this one has more denim than you could imagine.
- Among all the redneck thugs, a strange assassin with Wolverine-style claws makes an appearance. His presence is never explained.

Internet review:
"This welcome sequel is a load of unsophisticated action fun." - Skeates

Should I watch it?
Definitely worth watching if you liked the first one.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

China O'Brien 2 gets...

Tiger Claws (1991)

"Tiger Claw is a style that takes you to the edge, both physically and mentally." - Tarek

The police try to stop a martial arts serial killer.
Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Jalal Merhi, Bolo Yeung, Robert Nolan, Kedar Brown

Link to IMDB

There's a new serial killer in New York that seems to be a martial arts expert that is only interested in killing other martial artists, and the press have named him the Death Dealer.
With her own background in karate, Linda Masterson is the cop that's working the case, but she's going to need help on this dangerous investigation. Linda gets partnered with Tarek, an unpredictable guy that doesn't always follow the rules, but he's quick to realize that the killer is using an obscure and deadly form of karate called Tiger Claw.

Linda                                             Tarek

Linda and Tarek now begin their investigation into the martial arts underworld of the city, trying to find anyone that knows Tiger Claw or any clues that will get them closer to stopping the Death Dealer.
Eventually, Tarek goes undercover to get closer to their prime suspect, a master that is willing to teach Tiger Claw, but we know that they're pursuing the wrong guy. It's no secret to the audience that the real killer is a man named Chong, hiding in plain sight as an average guy at the local dojo.

Chong, the Death Dealer

There's actually not much fighting in the first half, but there doesn't need to be. The tightly paced police story is compelling on its own, as danger surrounds Tarek and Linda's investigation. When the action ramps up in the second half, it's pretty solid stuff. With martial art pros like Cynthia Rothrock, Jalal Merhi and Bolo Yeung as the main cast, you know the final battles are going to deliver the goods.

Surprisingly enough, the lead characters even have story arcs as they both are striving to prove their self-worth. Linda struggles with being a female cop in a world of men, and Tarek is eager to master his own personal demons. It's not exactly stunning drama, but it adds some much appreciated depth to the characters.

This is definitely a highlight of Cynthia RothRocktober, and it's also easily one of her best performances.

Be sure not to miss:
- The charismatic Bill Pickle... He's actually a real guy! Here's the facebook page for his school.
- The music at the strip joint was wack.
- When in doubt, karate chop a "No Swimming" sign.

Internet review:
"A 1990s martial arts masterpiece!" - rosie

Should I watch it?
Recommended.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Tiger Claws gets...

Irresistible Force (1993)

Stone: "You really are a pistol, aren't you?"
Charlotte: "Yeah, I've got a big mouth and a bad attitude."

aka: Power Cop
A retiring cop and his rookie partner gotta stop terrorists.
Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Stacy Keach, Christopher Neame, Michael Bacall, Nicholas Hammond

Link to IMDB

Detective Harris Stone is a few weeks away from retirement and all he wants to do is find a new partner that won't cause any problems, ensuring that the end of his career will be relaxing and without danger. Believing that a female rookie would be his safest bet, Stone takes Charlotte as his new partner. He's in for a surprise though, because Charlotte is a thrill seeker and danger seems to follow her wherever she goes!
Stone and Charlotte might not quite see eye-to-eye, but they quickly become friends and prove that they make a good, albeit unpredictable, team of cops.

Charlotte and Stone

Their skills are about to be put to the ultimate test, because while attending the grand opening of a new shopping mall a terrorist named James Barron holds everyone inside as hostages! The mall's high-tech security keeps all the cops outside, except for Charlotte and Stone, who now have to take down Barron and his henchmen to save the civilians.
They get unexpected help from a teenager named Jessie, a self-proclaimed "professional mall rat," who also happens to mysteriously be Barron's prime hostage.

"I'm tired of my partners getting me shot at!" - Stone

        Jessie                                   James Barron

There's no denying that this is basically just a Die Hard clone, but it's probably the best one I've ever seen. The movie wastes no time, giving us a fast paced plot with just the right amount of action and fights to accentuate the tension. The fights themselves are well done, despite the violence being rather tame since this was a made-for-TV movie.

I also really liked that the villain felt realistic and sensible, instead of being all melodramatic. There's a good balance created between the story being delivered very seriously and knowing when to occasionally add a little humour.

Charlotte kicking ass

Rothrock and Keach work very well together as the two leads, with good vibes and snappy dialog between them. It's a shame they never partnered-up again to make a sequel to this one.


Be sure not to miss:
- The movie opens with Barron kidnapping Jessie, but without any context it honestly looks like he just wants to steal the kid's Gameboy.  Funny stuff.
- The security control computer looks like a toy.
- Paul Winfield has a small role.

Internet review:
"If more TV shows were like this, the world would be a better place." - Ty

Should I watch it?
Yes!

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Irresistible Force gets...

China O'Brien (1990)

"She's one of those chop suey fighters!" - Bartender

An ex-cop tries to rid her hometown of organized crime.
Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Richard Norton, Keith Cooke, Steven Kirby, Patrick Adamson

Link to IMDB

Now this is the type of movie I was hoping to find for Cynthia RothRocktober.

China O'Brien is a no-nonsense cop working the mean streets of the city, but when one of her martial art students gets killed while she's trying to protect him from thugs, China decides she's had enough of the dangerous lifestyle and she retires from the police force.

She heads to her small hometown for a reunion with her dad, who also happens to be the local sheriff, and an old boyfriend named Matt.
It doesn't take long before China notices that her town has changed for the worse. Half of the cops on the force are crooked, and a man named Mr. Sommer controls most of the town with his discreet organized crime.

The sheriff has been trying to stop Sommer, but his investigation only leads to tragedy when he is killed by a suspicious car bomb!


With her dad dead, China decides to campaign for the job of the new sheriff so that she can clean-up the town and get justice. Sommer and his small army of goons are not going without a fight and they'll do anything to stop China from getting the badge. Luckily, she gets help from Matt and a mysterious man named Dakota who both want to see Sommer behind bars as much as she does.

                         Matt & Dakota                                                               Mr. Sommer

Although the plot is simple it's also fast-paced and very effective at building tension and establishing the characters, which had me completely drawn into the story. It's still a low budget affair, but it feels much more like a real movie than something like Lady Dragon did.

There's plenty of action here, usually in the form of bar brawls and street fights as the three heroes kick the ass of anyone that gets in their way. China's mostly just fighting drunk rednecks instead of kung-fu masters, but the fights still look good with a raw energy to them.

"Looks like were going to find out who's really running this town." - Deputy Lickner

Even Cynthia Rothrock's acting seems to be better than usual, and it's easy to see why this is one of the roles she's most remembered for. China is a strong and likeable character, and I was cheering for her to win.
Despite being predictable, this is a really entertaining movie if you're looking for butt-kicking brawls and a good old fashioned straight-to-video justice story.


Be sure not to miss:
- Dakota has a really fake looking fake hand. It's like a hunk of metal with an old sock wrapped around it.
- Despite the fact that Matt was from this small American town, Richard Norton does nothing to hide his thick Australian accent.
- Take a drink every time someone wearing flannel gets kicked or punched.

Internet review:
"It's just too much fun to dislike." - ZiggyBear

Should I watch it?
Yes.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

China O'Brien gets...

Prince of the Sun (1990)

"Your bodily functions have cost me a lot of gold." - May

A young boy gifted with Buddha's magic must be protected from evil.
Starring: Conan Lee, Sheila Chan, Shun Lau, Ching-Ling Lam, and Cynthia Rothrock

Link to IMDB

When the holy leader of a group of Shaolin monks dies, his spirit is reincarnated into the body of a six year old boy. Some of the monks are jealous of this and see an opportunity to take the power for themselves, so begins a battle between the forces of good and evil as the loyal monks fight to protect the Boy.
The Boy escapes into the big city where he is unexpectedly rescued by a petty thief named Ben. The two become friends, and for the next 40 minutes the movie is all about their misadventures into the realm of "comedy hijinks."

The Boy and Ben

Ben and his sister, May, begrudgingly live together, and their constant arguing creates plenty of slapstick fighting and low-brow sitcom scenarios about having the Boy live with them. The Boy has some magical Buddha powers and is often visited by the ghost of his uncle, which also adds to the wacky madness going on here.

I can't tell if the comedy is aimed at children or not, or maybe something got lost in translation, but the Hong Kong humour wasn't working for me and it was hard to be maintain a sense of honest amusement.
At least Magic Crystal always had a story to follow, but the entire middle of this movie loses all forward momentum.

              Uncle Ghost                                              Bencheuk
in the TV                                                

Sitting through all the tedious comedy is worthwhile, because eventually it gets back to the main plot about Shaolin monks fighting each other. A powerful monk named Bencheuk (Cynthia Rothrock) is tasked with finding and protecting the Boy, but she better act fast because the forces of evil are growing stronger!

When the movie does give us action, it's top notch stuff. The battle scenes are intricate and expertly choreographed, making the last 30 minutes a flurry of epic action as Ben and Bencheuk fight the evil monks into submission.
Despite the annoying comedy bits, I still enjoyed watching this. There should have been more of a focus on the battle between good and evil instead of weird sitcom comedy, but the fun energy throughout the movie kept me entertained anyways.


Be sure not to miss:
- Dog in microwave.
- Who needs shurikens when you can throw birds?
- The doll used to substitute the Boy in action scenes is pretty funny.
- I honestly could not figure out if the Boy even had a name.

Internet review:
"Holy cow!! What A suuuuper-silly movie!!" - BorisK

Should I watch it?
It's a mixed bag, but not a waste.

Where can I find it?
A link here.

Prince of the Sun gets...

Sworn to Justice (1996)

"I defend people, that's my job." - Janna

A lady seeks revenge against bad guys that killed her sister.
Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Tony Lo Bianco, Kurt McKinney, Katie Mitchell, Stephen Quadros

Link to IMDB

When masked thugs break into the house of Janna, an expert criminal psychologist, she defends herself with her martial art skills, but not before the bad guys had time to kill her sister and nephew!
Eager to put the violent night behind her, Janna goes back to work on a big case that needs her attention, but she keeps having intense visual flashes of her sister's murder. For no discernible reason, Janna has developed a psychic ESP ability to receive visions of the people around her, but they might be helpful in catching her sister's killers!

Detective Briggs is the man in charge of finding Janna's attackers, but since he's not able to find any concrete evidence Janna decides to become a vigilante and hunt down the men herself. Using her new ESP powers, she starts kicking ass and getting justice for her dead sister.... Sort-of. There's also a lot of romance crap to sit through.


This movie is all over the place and the narrative coherence is just terrible, making it difficult to understand (or explain) what the heck is going on. Everything in the movie feels like a sub-plot to a story that isn't going anywhere.
Anyways, Janna is getting romantic with a new guy named Nick, and also preparing evidence for a big murder case that is seemingly unrelated to anything else in the movie. All the while, she's still trying to hide her ESP-inspired vigilante missions from Det. Briggs.

Det. Briggs                                     Nick

Since the story makes no sense, I focused on how poorly everything was slopped together and that kept me surprisingly entertained. The sets look like they were made in someone's garage and the dialog is inconceivably bad, so that's rather amusing even during the unwanted sex scenes.
Thankfully, there are a few good fights here, and the one aspect of the drama that did work well was realizing that someone close to Janna was also secretly her enemy.

"You spend passion to buy peace, but you're surrounded by fury." - Mr. Young

I really can't decide who this movie was made for. Men, women or children? There's just as much violence as there is corny romance with swooning saxophones, and even some slapstick comedy thrown in for good measure... Maybe it was supposed to be "fun for the whole family" or something?

My concluding thoughts were that Sworn to Justice feels like what would happen if Law & Order got drunk, passed-out on a park bench and puked all over itself... The entertainment comes from watching the disaster happen.

Be sure not to miss:
- The great Mako has a small role, but he doesn't get to fight.
- Walter Koenig and Brad Dourif also make appearances.

Internet review:
"I'm convinced the people making this really wanted to do a softcore porn." - maskull

Should I watch it?
Only worth it for Rothrock completionists.

Where can I find it?
Links here. or on YouTube.

Sworn to Justice gets...

Magic Crystal (1986)

"If you cooperate, you get some ice cream. If not, you go to Siberia." - Karov

A kid befriends an alien rock, but all the bad guys are trying to get it.
Starring: Andy Lau, Siu Ban-ban, Richard Norton, Jin Wong, and Cynthia Rothrock

Link to IMDB

Andy Lau is a soldier for hire, and his next job is to go to Greece and help his friend who claims to have found an important artifact of some sort. Along for the trip are Andy's brother, Pancho, and his young nephew, Pin Pin. Arriving in Greece, Andy is attacked by KGB agents that also want the artifact, but with help from two Interpol agents (one of whom is Cynthia Rothrock,) Andy and the family are able to escape back to Hong Kong with the unusual artifact.

The artifact reveals itself to young Pin Pin as an extra terrestrial being that has been trapped on Earth for thousands of years! It's name is Jade, and it quickly becomes good friends with Pin Pin as they have fun playing magical hijinks on uncle Pancho.
Things gets weird!!!

Andy                                         Pancho                                     Cynthia                                    Karov

I didn't really know what type of movie this was going to be, but wow, it didn't take long to see it's one of those "everything-and-the-kitchen-sink" type of adventures. It's what would happen if E.T. and James Bond had a karate baby from Hong Kong... On drugs.

The main story revolves around an evil KGB mastermind named Karov trying to kill Andy and his family to get the alien artifact, and that aspect is handled like a violent spy movie with superb kung-fu action added to the mix. But much of the movie is also delivered like a kid's movie, with Pin Pin and Jade getting into goofy scenarios and casting magic spells on people for laughs.

Jade and Pin Pin

Since the movie bounces around a lot between different styles and tones, it gets quite haphazard and can be difficult to make sense of what is going on with the overall plot. That never stops it from being wildly entertaining, but the logic of the story gets lost when the focus shifts to the more silly aspects of Pin Pin and Jade's weird antics.

Lots of this !

As mentioned, the fighting is seriously epic here, with plenty of skilled athletes flying around kicking ass and pulling-off impressive stunts. Cynthia Rothrock is just a supporting character, but she does get a chance to really shine in a few fights.

Despite some of the comedy being too overbearing and ridiculous for anyone over the age of 10 to appreciate, I admit that I was still laughing a lot at some of the truly outrageous shit that Jade does.
If you're in the mood for one of the silliest kung-fu movies ever (or one of the most violent kid's movie ever,) Magic Crystal will blow your mind.

Be sure not to miss:
- Pancho's pool glasses.
- Ice bullets.
- "I have the power!"
- Jade's feet. Jade's tongue... Anything Jade related.

Internet review:
"Weird and entertaining, with a sufficiently absurd E.T. knockoff for filler." - PP900

Should I watch it?
Recommended (but it's bonkers.)

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Magic Crystal gets...