Monster in the Closet (1986)

"Throw reason and rationale out the door." - Diane

A closet monster explores our world, killing people in the process.
Starring: Donald Grant, Denise DuBarry, Henry Gibson, and a young Paul Walker

Link to IMDB

Diane and Richard

An unexplained phenomenon has arrived in a small town outside of San Francisco, as citizens are mysteriously being killed by something hiding in their closets. No one is taking the rumours of a monster seriously except for Richard Clark, a nerdy newspaper reporter looking for his first big story.
Arriving in the small town, Richard meets Professor Diane Bennett and her young son who is literally named Professor. (Well, that's one way to ensure the kid will be a nerd.) Diane also thinks the murders are suspicious, but local law enforcement just assumes it's a maniac on the loose.
Richard and Diane are a nerd match made in heaven, so they work together, and with the help of old Dr. Pennyworth they realize that an unknown creature has come to town.
It's not long before their fears are fully realized, when a freaky monster reveals itself to the whole town and attacks the police force as their ineffective bullets bounce off its ugly butt!

Pennyworth

Richard now has his big story, and the world is shocked by the astonishing revelation of the closet monster. The military arrives, hoping to destroy the monster, but Pennyworth wants to study the fascinating beast that science had never predicted. The monster can disappear into any closet and also uses them to travel around the city, making it impossible for anyone to hunt it.
Pennyworth discovers a possible way to communicate with the monster, and so our lovable gang of nerds attempt to stop the angry beast with science instead of violence. But when they learn that all closets are the monster's domain, the entire planet is placed in danger!

"Destroy all closets!" - Professor

Despite the opening narrator taking his job very seriously, you'll quickly see the movie is often delivered with a healthy does of humour. It has a good balance between a campy spoof of the classic monster movies, and occasionally touching on themes of morality. There's plenty of admirably goofy things to chuckle at, while still maintaining a story with some likeable characters.

"Arggahgrggffft"

Professor

The creature effects are some of the most memorable I've seen in awhile, and that gaping mouth constantly making slobbery fart noises is worth the ticket price alone. A complaint would be the lack of suspense. We learn all about the monster quite early, and spend plenty of time watching everyone else bumble along trying to devise a plan to stop it. Although there is a surprising twist near the end, as all the craziness piles up and delivers a new take on some old monster movie cliches.

Be sure not to miss:
- That sweet Tom Selleck poster.
- People are constantly eating Nestle Crunch chocolate bars the whole movie.
- The old man at the start is John Carradine.
- Fans have debated if the monster is supposed to be gay, but I don't think it matters to the story. Intentional or not, there is some possible subtext for tongue-in-cheek social commentary.

Internet review:
"Leave your butt at the door, or else you'll shit your pants." - James

Should I watch it?
Recommended for a fun, silly time.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Monster in the Closet gets...