Programmed to Kill (1987)

"She's a Barbie-Rambo-killing-machine." - Blake

aka: The Retaliator
The CIA create a dangerous killer lady that runs amok.
Starring: Robert Ginty, Sandahl Bergman, James Booth, Alex Courtney, Louise Caire Clark

Link to IMDB

Throughout August I will only be watching movies from what I call my "Bottom of the Barrel" list.
It's basically a list of movies that seem like they could be stinkers...
But I bet I can still manage to find some winners, right? Maybe?

Anyways, here is Bottom of the Barrel: Exhibit #1

Eric

After a group of terrorists start causing mayhem in the Middle East, the CIA has no choice but to call in their most unorthodox rogue agent, Eric Mathews.
Eric and his team swoop in and kill the bad guys, but they also capture a terrorist lady named Samira and bring her back to the USA to answer for her crimes.

Samira gets wounded in the action and is pronounced brain dead upon arrival, but the CIA still have a use for her body. They decide to test their experimental "cybertron" procedure on her, which will effectively turn her into a killing machine!

Eric has no idea this is happening because he's been kicked off the case and left in the dark about Samira's fate, but since he's a badass he's not content until he gets some answers.


The CIA fill Samira's head with computer chips, and now she's programmed to go back to the Middle East to kill the terrorists she used to work for. She quickly malfunctions and decides she rather be killing Americans, so she heads back to the USA intent on killing the men who created her.
Eric is trying to stop her before it's too late, but he can't trust anyone because the CIA are trying to kill everyone that knows about Samira!

Samira, programmed to be in a bad movie

This entire movie has a very "whatever" quality to it. It's not a disaster, but it's also nothing special in the realms of B movie fodder... It's just whatever.
Eric is the only aspect of the movie that I even slightly cared about, but he's just an average anti-hero amidst an unenthusiastic blur of stuff. There are a few laughs to be found at the general sloppiness, but the movie takes itself way too seriously to be campy.

"This hero stuff is getting way out of line." - Eric

Some stuff explodes

I've enjoyed Robert Ginty in other roles, but he seems really bored here and slurs his lines a lot.
The movie's just not as epic as it thinks it is, and you have to wait until the final 15 minutes for most of the action which never truly stands-out as being anything but average.

Be sure not to miss:
- The most unconvincing hang-gliding effects.
- Eric's son is played by a young Paul Walker.

Internet review:
"As exciting as a sea cucumber." - BogBit

Should I watch it?
Other movies have done this much better.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Programmed to Kill gets...