Inseminoid (1981)

"I just freaked." - Kate

aka: Horror Planet
Space archaeologists discover a life form that gets all rapey, and I just get all bored.
Starring: Judy Geeson, Robin Clarke, Jennifer Ashley, Steven Grives,

Link to IMDB

Ricky's got space madness

A team of scientists have a research center on a distant planet where they discovered the ruins of an ancient alien civilization. After accidentally getting a face full of radiation crystals, Ricky goes insane from some type of alien influence and starts trying to destroy the place. The rest of the team are forced to kill him to save themselves. Things go from bad to worse when another guy gets ripped apart by a monster and Sandy gets abducted and space raped by a phallic alien lobster! She's fittingly traumatized, constantly screaming and panicking when she learns that she's pregnant.
The creepy atmosphere of dread is effective and the deaths are bloody, building an unsettling vibe as the characters try to understand the dangerous situation they are in.



Not content with just sitting around wailing, Sandy decides she might as well start killing off her friends! The rest of the movie is just her going on a rampage, sabotaging the base and trying to kill everyone. I can't tell if Judy Geeson is giving an outstanding performance or if she's just making this shit up as she goes, but it's a pretty intense portrayal of mania. Meanwhile, everyone else is just sitting around talking about how to stop her. Maybe an explosion will knock her out? Nope. Maybe chainsaws can stop her? Nope. There's almost some humour in their constant failed attempts to stop Sandy, and how easy it is for her to kill them.
Wait... I'm making this sound exciting, but it sure isn't! All the built up tension fizzles out and goes wasted. Instead of monsters we get a crazy lady wandering around hallways, constantly screaming for an hour. Any style or charm that was here is fading fast.

"Aaaarrgggghhhhheeeehhhffffrrr!" - Sandy

The inevitable finally happens when Sandy gives birth. (Yup, more screaming.) Two little aliens pop out of her, but they look completely ridiculous and not scary at all. They proceed to do nothing, while Sandy resumes her rampage! Sigh... They took a crazy premise with potential and made it into a complete drag.
Who will survive and what will be left of them? Well, I barely survived and was just left disappointed, so I wouldn't keep hope for anyone in the movie.

Sandy proves that in space everyone
actually CAN hear you scream.

Be sure not to miss:
- There's a hilarious scene where a trapped lady saws off her own foot instead of waiting for help. She wins a bronze medal for stupidest thing I've ever seen a stupid character do.
- The rape scene doesn't get too graphic, but it's still freaking weird.

Internet review:
"I would probably saw my own foot off if it meant I could escape having to watch this rubbish again." - dvpav

Should I watch it?
Don't bother.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Inseminoid gets...