Ice (1994)

"After I smash your head in, can we still do business together?"  - Jimmy

A couple of professional burglars steal diamonds from the mafia, only to be hampered by every goon in town.
Starring: Traci Lords, Phillip Troy Linger, Zach Galligan, Jaime Alba

Link to IMDB

Ice, ice, babe !

All the criminals in the city are going crazy for ice, which is slang for diamonds to the layman, and it's causing the police to deal with a lot of violence.
On the other side of the picture are Ellen and Charlie, who work as professional burglars recovering stolen property from criminals to collect the reward money. They have just taken their most dangerous job yet, which is to steal a large collection of ice from the cruel mobster, Vito. After a successful job they earn the wrath of Vito and he wants Charlie dead, while another group of rival mobsters also get involved when they hear the ice is on the move. Charlie has had enough of the danger and decides they need to get help from Ellen's estranged brother, Rick, who is a greasy con artist.

The first half of the movie is your basic action/crime story, but things start to get interesting as it moves along. Without spoiling anything, the diamonds change hands a few times and Detective Little asks for Ellen's help to bring down the mobsters she has gotten tangled up with.


The second half also has Ellen become the main character, and this is what makes the story start to feel fresh and engaging. Ellen refuses to be a victim of all these goons, and decides to strike back to get her revenge and the diamonds. Despite the police offering protection, she has other plans!
There's also a scene where Det. Little listens to a song that Ellen recorded. It's a sappy ballad but he loves it and says it "has a nice edge." I thought maybe Traci Lords had performed it herself, but no, it's just awkwardly thrown into the middle of the movie.

"I want what's mine."  - Ellen

I hope you like sexy saxophones and sexy guitar solos (hey, who doesn't?) because they'll be trying to seduce you the whole time, weaving their magic between the car chases and shootouts. Ice is a great example of everything cheesy about early 90's straight-to-video movies. The fights are hilarious, the dialog is terrible, and the ending is ridiculous! Before I knew it, Ice had sneaked in and stole a little piece of my heart.

Swan dive 8/10

Be sure not to miss:
- A lot of people get shot, and they pretty much all fall over the exact same way.
- Hiding the ice at the ice rink. Clever!
- Traci did have a music career soon after this movie, so I was hoping the song here would be from her.

Internet review:
"Ice is what you get when someone thinks they can do 'Miami Vice' by Michael Mann" - lemon_magic

Should I watch it?
It's a nice slice of 90's cheese, with some good laughs.

Where can I find it?
It is on YouTube

Ice gets...