Monolith (1993)

"I got three rules in life: Rule number one, shit happens; rule number two, shit happens on a regular basis; and rule three, you better get used to the first two rules."  - Tucker

Two cops investigating the murder of a young boy uncover a top secret plot about aliens in a movie where the plot barely even has any aliens.
Starring: Bill Paxton, Lindsay Frost, John Hurt with a sore throat, and Louis Gossett Jr.

Link to IMDB

We're not working together !

The first two minutes feature some sloppy hot dog eating, and then a kid dies! A fine start for this made-for-TV movie. It has an ambitious plot and defined characters (I called them Hot Cop and Slop Cop,) but with no budget and lots of terrible acting from the supporting cast, it's hard to take this movie as seriously as it takes itself. Which of course, can be a very good thing.

The music is mostly sexy guitar solos and sexier saxophone wailing, it's all over the place but at least it sounds like someone had fun punctuating the cheesy dialog with riffs.
The action scenes don't have much of a budget, but when paired with the main cast trying their best to not embarrass themselves they keep the fun going. Paxton gets pretty deep into character, and carries most of the movie on his plaid shoulders with one liners and Slop Cop philosophy. But it's John Hurt who really out-hams everyone as the melodramatic villain, conveniently named Villano.
Shit explodes and someone is always waving a gun around, leaving little room for laughs so you got to make some of your own, which I found to be quite easy.

"Tuna, pepperoni and lots of jalepenos. Now there's a pizza to die for."  - Tucker

A hobo getting F/X

Be sure not to miss:
- About 24 minutes in, there's an incredibly awkward scene with a female security guard. I can't even describe how bizarre it feels in the movie. It's a beautiful disaster.
- Awkward joke about workplace sexual harassment.
- Rats enough!

Sigourney Weaver, is that you?

Internet review:
"seems to have been pieced together with bits and pieces pulled from Hollywood's vast supply of garbage cans." - katpbennet

Should I watch it?

Yeah, but after a few beers. The story is decent, and it's worth a check for some truly bewildered acting from the no-names.

Where can I find it?
It's on YouTube, and likely everywhere else. Easy find.

Monolith gets...