Cyclone (1987)

"I gotta roll." - Rick

Rick has developed the ultimate motorcycle, but it's up to his girlfriend Teri to keep the Cyclone from falling into the wrong hands. Teri can trust no one but herself... and me, because I'm totally down for this.
Starring: Heather Thomas, Jeffrey Combs, and Martin Landau.

Link to IMDB

Teri with Rick's surrogate penis

We first meet cool, science guy Rick riding and cleaning his far-out motorcycle all zen like, but the real star of the show ends up being his girlfriend Teri, and we quickly meet her getting sweaty at the gym. These two are truly in love (as evidenced by the weirdest 'sex talk' you'll ever here about Einstein,) but don't get too comfortable! There's lots of goons, dim-witted policemen and "whacked out punks on PCP" that are going to come along and ruin the good times.

Along the way there's some great cameo work to be seen. Long John (played by legend Huntz Hall) is especially memorable, even while being a creepy old pervert.

(sexy guitar music plays)

Long John

There are some important scenes at a punk club called Lava, which also happens to be the worst representation of a nightclub you will ever see on camera. I think it might just be a garage with some lava lamps strewn about, and the band performing looks even more carelessly put together! Nothing will prepare you for the suffering sound of Haunted Garage. But the filmmakers did spend the money where it mattered most; giving us high speed chases, exploding cars and laser beams in the later half of the movie.

"You're as plastic as your tits!" - Teri

Our hero.

Be sure not to miss:
- The end credit song
- Judging by the gift Teri buys for Rick, he seems to hoard thin pieces of scrap metal?
- You can't film at a gym and not have a scene in the shower room.

Internet review:
"you will hear the rustle of legwarmers, and know that it is time." - lifefantastic

Should I watch it?
Absolutely!

Where can I find it?
There's a few versions on YouTube, and this was the best quality.

Cyclone gets...