Vicious Lips (1986)

"Under all this shit is shit." - Wynzi

A band has to race across space to get to an important gig.
Starring: DruAnne Perry, Linda Kerridge, Gina Calabrese, Shayne Farris

Link to IMDB

Vicious Lips is an intergalactic girl band and they’ve got the gig of a lifetime coming up, except there's one big problem... They don't have a lead singer anymore! Their manager, Asher, finds a new girl singing at a talent contest and offers her the job. It was always Judy's dream to be in a band, so she eagerly agrees. The girls don't really like her at first, because she's too naive and innocent, but her singing skills will surely be an asset for the band.
With only a short amount of time to make it to their big show, Asher steals the fastest spaceship he can find, not realizing that there's a killer alien imprisoned in the cargo hold. Looks like this musical adventure is ready for take off!


The opening scenes create an idyllic slum of sci-fi 80's rock n' roll, with cool neon sets and new wave songs that add some slick energy. Asher is the most annoying character ever but the girls seem okay, even if we learn very little about them. But it's not long before everything goes wrong... Their ship crash lands on a desert planet, which coincides with the movie literally crashing, too.

Asher

A huge chunk of the "story" now becomes them sitting in the boring wrecked ship doing nothing. Nothing.
Asher (unfortunately not killed in the crash) goes for help but he just gets lost in the desert. You might be asking, "What about that deadly alien in the cargo hold?" Well, we see that he's trying to escape his prison so he can be a plot device, but instead the writers keep him in the cargo hold. About 40 minutes go by and it's just painfully dull. The movie earnestly does everything it can to be a tedious slog, and I'm trapped in an abyss of nothing with the worst actors ever. My mind went numb.

Alien monster.
Expenses were spared.

The alien does eventually escape and there's a brief chase reminiscent of a Scooby-Doo cartoon, but then some lame bullshit twists are thrown in to ruin what little value remained here. The movie just shits its pants and expects you to sit there and be okay with it!
The ending is just insufferably stupid and cements the fact that no one had a clue about what the story should have been. All the potential of the first 20 minutes were flushed down the toilet, leaving nothing except the occasional irreverent charm to keep me awake.
Director Albert Pyun has made some good B-movies, so it was disappointing to see this script fail so hard.

Be sure not to miss:
- A lady with three breasts! Before Total Recall did it.
- Their instruments look like bug-zappers from Ikea.
- This little anteater alien guy. He is probably the best thing in the movie, and he's only on screen for about 8 seconds. He's even holding a tiny cigarette in his tiny hand!!




Internet review:
"It will have you throwing your remote at your television." - Wizard8

Should I watch it?
Nope.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Vicious Lips gets...