Empire of the Ants (1977)

"Have you ever taken a close look at what the ant is all about?"- Narrator

That pesky toxic waste is causing problems again, but this time ants gets involved.
Starring: Joan Collins, Robert Lansing, Albert Salmi, Robert Pine

Link to IMDB

Opening narration!? I love opening narration! This one sternly reminds us of the great power and skill that the tiny ant wields.

Marilyn Fryser is a real estate agent holding a tour for prospective buyers of a new resort she is planning to build on the Florida coastline. A mixed group of about a dozen people arrive for the tour, with most of them being rich snobs. The captain hired to pilot the boat is Cpt. Dan Stokely, and he seems like the only likable character among all the self-centered, rude passengers. All aboard, they sail off down the coast to a remote area in the swamp.
This group isn't the only thing visiting the resort today, because a radioactive barrel has decided to wash-up onto the beach!

Marilyn (center)  meets the group.

Ants on a boat !

The first 30 minutes are pretty damn slow, as we just hang-out with these people who are proving to all be even bigger asses than I suspected, but Cpt. Stokely is clearly becoming the main character here.
Come on, already! Where are the ants!?
Finally, a guy wanders away from the tour and is attacked by a monstrous ant the size of a horse! Everyone's freaked out when they find his body torn to pieces, but they don't have to wonder what happened for long, as the big ass ants start swarming in around them. The group tries to get back to the boat, but ants crawl aboard and destroy their plan of escape!

Fear, despair and distrust has everyone arguing and crying, but Stokely takes charge and plans to walk through the swamp to a nearby town. The ants are chasing right behind them, attacking anyone that makes a mistake. Stokely finds a rowboat which they use to navigate the canals, and it offers some safety from the ants. I hope you like rowboat scenes, because there's lots of them.
Eventually, those that survived make their way to a small town and are rescued by the local police. But wait... There's still 30 minutes left of the movie. What can happen next? Well, everyone seems a bit peculiar in this town and they're definitely hiding a secret about the nearby sugar refinery. I can't explain any further without major spoilers, so I'll just leave you with two words... Ant farts. Yes, you read that correctly. Ant farts.

Ants beside a boat !

It takes awhile to get going, but it also gets more ludicrous as it goes along. It's hard to tell how serious the movie takes itself. It is either aware of how weird everything is and wants to accentuate that, or it might honestly be trying to create an epic survival adventure. Either way, it provides some dumb fun with classic overacting and a very surprising third act.
The ants themselves are a mix of wobbly puppets and clumsy superimposed footage of real ants into the scenes. Crude but occasionally effective, they are undeniably bonkers to see in action!

Be sure not to miss:
- The taxi driver right at the start. He does nothing, and yet somehow manages to be the worst actor ever.
- There's a few moments where it looks like the ants are crawling on the sky.
- Giant ants constantly make a high-pitch screeching noise. Isn't nature wonderful?

Internet review:
"This is clearly the fourth-best ant movie ever made." - madden2

Should I watch it?
Not a classic, but lots to laugh at.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Empire of the Ants gets... (an extra half for ant farts)