Deathstalker (1983)

"Heroes and fools are the same thing." - Deathstalker

The warrior Deathstalker is tasked by an old witch to stop an evil sorcerer from gaining more power.
Starring: Rick Hill, Lana Clarkson, Richard Brooker, Bernard Erhard

Link to IMDB

I'll be watching all four movies in the Deathstalker series this month.
Let's take a look at the one that started it all...

"By the power of grey..." Oops, wrong movie.

In a world where heroes are scarce, there's danger everywhere. Out in the wilderness, a gang of hobo lepers attack a creepy guy trying to rape a woman. The battle draws the attention of a powerful warrior, named Deathstalker. With great prowess he uses his blade to kill everyone and rescue the girl, and then without a word he proceeds to undress her... Wait a second, this doesn't seem like something a hero should be doing. She seems okay with it, but when they're interrupted she quickly runs away. You'll soon see that Stalker can be a real misogynistic ass. When he's not busy fighting every idiot he comes across he's trying to get a lady undressed. He even states that he has no interest in being a hero, and yet we're stuck with this brute.


Anyways, Stalker soon meets an old mystical lady that needs him to find a magical sword before a sorcerer named Munkar does. Luckily, the sword is in a nearby cave, being guarded by a cool little goblin puppet. Now that Stalker has this epic sword, he's going to go put an end to the evil Munkar.
Munkar just happens to be having a tournament to find the strongest warrior in the land, so everyone with a sword shows up at his place eager to fight each other, but it's really more of a trap being set for Deathstalker. Along the way he teams up with two other skilled fighters, Oghris and Kaira, but the old lady told him to be wary of anyone posing as a friend!

Munkar, the original biker wizard.

There are naked babes in pretty much every scene, and some pointless sexy times to show us how irresistible the ladies find Stalker. I kept thinking, Everyone put your shirts on and get back to the fighting!! But overall the movie shows a lot of muscle men (and a Pig-man) drinking and fighting each other while Munkar does wizardly scheming. Don't worry about following the weird magic plot too much, the dialog is so bad that some things don't make any sense, just sit back and watch the cheesiness unfold.
Will Deathstalker stop creeping on the ladies long enough to finish this damn quest, or will evil triumph?

Be sure not to miss:
- Pig-man contemplating if he should eat ham or not.
- The little goblin dude sounds a lot like Tom Waits.
- What the hell is Munkar's face tattoo supposed to be? I decided on space squid.
- There's not a lot of blood, except near the end!

Internet review:
"It’s such a mess of over the top, macho, nerd fantasy, that it has no solid base for real analysis."  - bms

Should I watch it?
It's fun enough to be entertaining, but nothing too original.

Where can I find it?
It's on YouTube

Deathstalker gets...