The Lost Empire (1984)

"I don't think we're dealing with anything human here." - Angel

Three ladies plan to bring down an evil mastermind.
Starring: Melanie Vincz, Raven DeLaCroix, Angel Aames, Paul Coufos, Angus Scrimm

Link to IMDB

Ancient history tells of two magical gems that have been lost in time, but whoever holds both of them will gain ultimate power. An evil mastermind, Dr. Sin Do, has one of them, and now the other gem is about to be unexpectedly found...

Angel Wolfe is a badass cop that has no fear, and during her recent work on a jewel heist she unknowingly obtains the lost magical gem. This places Angel in danger, of course, but her friend Rick is an FBI agent and he suspects that Dr. Sin Do is involved somehow.

Dr. Sin Do lives on a secluded island and entertains himself by having fighting tournaments, so Angel decides to enter the fight in hopes of uncovering what the bad guys are up to.

Heather                                  Whitestar                                    Angel

Angel recruits two friends, Whitestar and Heather, to join her on the adventure, and she's going to need all the help she can get because once they get to the island they realize they're now prisoners! While training for the upcoming fights, they try to investigate the island and plot against their captors, but Dr. Sin Do will do anything to get that second gem.

   Rick                                    Dr. Sin Do

Here's a movie that isn't afraid to give you a little bit of every genre it can. There's kung-fu action, a mystical quest, and a sprinkle of exploitation sleaze, all wrapped-up in a crime thriller. Thankfully, it equates to a pretty fun time with lots of laughs to be found.

Evil ninjas

It's a pretty sloppy plot but it moves at a fast pace and kept me thoroughly engaged. There's a massive amount of cheesiness here, but it has the perfect quality of being genuinely weird. The acting, costumes, effects, and general wackiness all feel like a low budget passion project.
It's some great dumb fun that left me very satisfied.


Be sure not to miss:
-  Robert Tessier is here, with some wild fake eyebrows that he only wears half the time.
- "I hate robot spiders!"
- Dr. Sin Do's weapon of destruction sure does look like a giant penis.

Internet review:
"It's what B cinema is all about!" - JR McNamara

Should I watch it?
Recommended!

Where can I find it?
Links here. or on YouTube.

The Lost Empire gets...