The Apple (1980)

"Magic apple, mystery apple, take a little ride." - Dandi

A young couple discover the body-glitter and fascism of the music industry.
Starring: Catherine Mary Stewart, George Gilmour, Allan Love, Vladek Sheybal

Link to IMDB

Buckle yourself in, because this rock opera set in the future of 1994 is going to get weird !

We begin at the Worldvision Music Contest, where bands from around the globe come to compete for fame. Mr. Boogalow is the head of the powerful music label BIM and he's grooming his band, the lavish disco-rock duo of Pandi and Dandi, to be the winners. As the competition proceeds, everyone is surprised by a young couple named Alphie and Bibi that win the crowd over with a love ballad. Mr. Boogalow can't afford to have his band lose, so he rigs the votes to disgrace Alphie and Bibi.

Bibi and Alphie

Mr. Boogalow

Heartbroken but desperate to get into the music business, the couple go to Boogalow's celebration party to meet him, and there he offers them a contract that will make them stars! Bibi wants to sign but Alphie is skeptical of the deal... So, ummm, they go to Hell... I have no idea if it's a metaphor, a dream or just an excuse to have a dance number with ghouls, but Bungalow takes them on a trip to Hell. Bibi bites the figurative BIM apple, but Alphie rejects Boogalow's offer and escapes.

Bibi is groomed for success and joins with Pandi and Dandi as their fame rapidly grows, making her a superstar. Meanwhile, Alphie is living like a bum, feeling lost in a city that worships the BIM corporation.
Separated by a culture and business that is designed to keep them apart, how will Bibi and Alphie ever find each other again?

"I've never been so high in my life!" - Bibi

Dandi seduces Bibi

There is a multitude of bizarre, insane and ridiculous things in The Apple, and I've only touched the tip of the iceberg here. This really is one of those movies that actually make you feel like you're on drugs. A lot of money was spent creating the elaborate costumes, sets and dance numbers, and it creates a psychedelic carnival world where everything is extravagant.
Most of the songs are actually well done and catchy enough to sing along to. One song even made its way onto my iPod, (the epic "Coming for You" which, yes, is definitely about sex.) There's only a few songs that distract from the storytelling, but they're still hilarious to watch.

The "Coming" dance number.

At the core of the film is a love story, but it also deals with religious and Orwellian allegories which are completely lost in the sloppy delivery. Regardless, you can tell the filmmakers were honestly trying to make a sincere statement (about what I'm not sure.) This adds to the fun of wondering what could possibly happen next. The movie just keeps piling on the gonzo madness, and it steadily builds to a crescendo with a brain-melting ending.
If you were to mix The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Tommy and Saturday Night Fever in a blender with LSD, you'd get The Apple. An apple that's crazy to the core, but every bite is more delicious than the last!

Be sure not to miss:
- Alphie and Bibi are from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.
- An actual, actual, actual vampire.
- I wonder what a BIM burger tastes like.
- Directed by Menahem Golan of the Golan-Globus duo, who were responsible for the golden years (and eventual downfall) of Cannon Films.

Internet review:
"It should replace the Bible and the Constitution as the immutable cornerstone of our
civilization." - PurpleNightmare

Should I watch it?
Yes! Cancel all your plans and watch it now.

Where can I find it?
Links here. Might also be on Netflix.

The Apple gets...