Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984)

"Life forms, yes. Intelligent, no."  - 1359

A musical about aliens looking for the source of rock & roll, but all they find is trouble with the hip teens on Earth.
Starring: Pia Zadora, Craig Sheffer, Tom Nolan, Ruth Gordon

Link to IMDB

A space robot is scanning the universe for new music to listen to, and after a few dull planets he finds one that looks promising and zooms in to investigate. We see two rival motorcycle gangs getting ready for a fight as they sing an electro New Wave ballad. The music is rad, the cinematography is good and the costumes are top quality! "This is great!" I exclaimed aloud...
And then the robot decides it's too boring and he rather go to Earth...
Wait, what? That wasn't the movie?
My eyebrows and expectations were raised!... But not for long.

The aliens

The teenagers

The robot (named 1359) prepares the alien crew to teleport down to Earth so they can learn about our music. Closer to home we meet Dee Dee and her friends, as they are having fun singing and dancing at the beach. The leader of the band is a jerk named Frankie, and he puts a stop to the song because no one is allowed to have too much fun. This Earth story seems okay at first, but soon enough the waves of garbage start piling up...
The truly stupid antics of the aliens goes on for a painfully long time. My excitement level was quickly dropping.


Most of the songs aren't too bad, actually. They're kept short and done well enough to not have you scrambling for the mute button. The dancing is also fun, and keeps the energy up.
Dee Dee and one of the aliens begin to really like each other, but Frankie and his boys won't tolerate any new people in town, especially weirdos with musical talent.
Adding to the nonsense are random subplots about an escaped convict and the befuddled old sheriff trying to find a UFO. Sigh.
Finally, after an entire hour of slapstick and stupid jokes, the aliens and humans decide to have a battle of the bands.

By then my expectations for greatness were dead. Nothing else here maintains the same level of quality as the opening music video, but thankfully there are moments when it tries.
Somehow, I was kept entertained, but there's just so much stupidity to witness that I had to start drinking my beers faster to understand it. Almost all the jokes failed so horribly that I began to hate most of the characters.

1359, incognito as Tom Servo's cousin

One of the best moments is near the end when Frankie sings about his emotions. He writhes around half naked in the forest with a mountain lion. It's moments like these, when the movie tries to be serious, that helps make the stupid story easier to sit through.
Who will Dee Dee choose to dance with forever? The asshole human, or the brain dead alien? Or maybe the lake monster? (yes, there's even a lake monster.)

Be sure not to miss:
- The song from the first planet with Jermaine Jackson. I want to watch that movie!
- Michael Berryman is fun as the escaped convict. I learned a lot about chainsaw etiquette.
- The local teenage hangout is called "Local Teenage Hangout"
- Apparently, Frankie keeps that mountain lion trapped in the boy's locker room at school.

Internet review:
"There's more seemingly random WTF moments than you can shake a stick at."  - vinnier

Should I watch it?
It's worth seeing, but only when you (and hopefully a dance partner) are drunk enough to handle the stupid comedy.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube

Voyage of the Rock Aliens gets...