Not of This Earth (1988)

"I will be dining... [dun dun dunnnn] ...out."  - Mr. Johnson

An alien vampire comes to Earth to test our blood, and hires a young nurse to help him survive.
Starring: Traci Lords, Arthur Roberts, Lenny Juliano

Link to IMDB

A sharp dressed alien named "Mr. Johnson" has come to Earth to conduct research on human blood. Although he has no problems killing people for it, his first stop is at a clinic where he's hoping to be supplied with free blood transfusions. With the help of some mind control powers, he gets the doctor's cooperation and hires nurse Nadine to be his personal assistant at his house.
We soon learn what Mr. Johnson's plan is when he makes a call to his home world. He has come to Earth to find healthy blood that is vital to the survival of his race. Everyone on his planet is dying after the ravages of a war, and they are in need of a fresh supply. If our blood proves to be top quality they will enslave humankind.



Mr. Johnson has also hired a butler, the smart-ass Jeremy. He unknowingly helps his boss find victims to feed on, usually in the form of raunchy prostitutes. Nadine is dating one of the local police officers, and as the body count rises he starts to suspect that they have a serial killer in town. Jeremy and Nadine begin having realizations of their own, as they see more of Mr. Johnson's strange behaviour.

"I don't get paid to think, but I've started doing a lot in my own spare time." - Jeremy

A few sections are a bit slow, but it helps create suspense of what Mr. Johnson is capable of doing next. It gets more energetic in the later half, especially when a female alien also arrives.

The sci-fi elements of the plot are played seriously, and it almost feels like a classic Twilight Zone episode (there's even a reference to the show) except that we have a sexy layer of cheese on top of everything to keep it gleefully trashy. There are some good laughs, but not by accident. The movie is fully aware that it's a cheap thrill, and at the same time it restrains itself from flying off the rails into ridiculousness. I found the balance of story and laughs to be quite effective.

J Mascis, is that you ?

Be sure not to miss:
- There's a totally insane montage of aliens and explosions during the opening credits, which has absolutely nothing to do with the film itself. They are clips from other Roger Corman productions.
- It's brief, but Traci's nudity here is the only time she did it in her acting career. She's pretty awesome in this movie, and this was her first real role!

Internet review:
"This film has enough cool in it to make it one of the decade's better sci-fi flicks." - funkyfry

Should I watch it?
Yeah, it's a classic.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube

Not of This Earth gets...