Lady Terminator (1989)

"I'm not a lady. I'm an anthropologist!"  - Tania

aka: The Revenge of the South Seas Queen
The spirit of an ancient evil queen possesses the body of a young student, who then goes on a rampage that would make Arnold Schwarzenegger blush.
Starring: Barbara Anne Constable, Christopher J. Hart, Claudia Rademaker

Link to IMDB

This movie has been on the waiting list for a long time, but I'm sure glad that I got around to watching it!

The movie begins in the distant past of Indonesia and also right in the middle of a sex scene. Apparently, the Queen of the South Seas is hard to please, and she castrates unworthy men with an eel that lives in her vagina! One man shows up and proves to have some skills, as he pulls the eel out before she can kill him. The queen is pretty angry about losing her vagina eel and curses the man, saying that she'll return from the sea in 100 years to get revenge on his granddaughter.

You might think this is all too mystical to warrant using "terminator" in the title and that you've been cheated, but just wait... This movie is going to blow your mind.

Now in the present we meet Tania, who is an anthropologist (as she reminds us more than once) researching the old legends of the South Seas. While scuba diving she discovers the hiding place of the queen, and is possessed by her vengeful spirit... Which, as you might guess, means that an eel goes in her vagina.
Tania rises from the water as the unstoppable Queen of the South Seas, on a mission of destruction to kill the granddaughter of the man who bested her years ago.
This is when the plot begins borrowing from The Terminator, and by that I mean it directly recreates entire scenes from the movie!

We meet two characters that complete the main cast, Detective Max McNeil who is investigating the queen's first killing spree, and Erica, a local pop star who is the targeted granddaughter.
It doesn't take long before the queen starts hunting Erica, and Max becomes her guardian.

"We've seen more dead bodies than you've eaten hot dogs, so shut up and eat."  - Max

A small sample of their firepower.

Well, that's one way to destroy a hotel room.

Once the action starts it's pretty nonstop. With the help of Max's army buddies, and the knowledge of a wise old man who knows the queen's history, Max and Erica might just have a chance to stop the terminator queen!
Despite stealing from The Terminator, the plot still feels unique and surprising in its interpenetration of an over-the-top action movie that is not afraid to embrace absurdity.
The dialog is often hilarious, the music is perfect, and the ending is a tour de force of action and weirdness that will have you cheering.



Be sure not to miss:
- "Hey, you serve beer here, or just milk?"
- It's the same director as the awesome Mystics in Bali
- Snake and his mullet deserve their own movie.
- There's also a reference to Predator... "If it bleeds, we can kill it."

Internet review:
"Words cannot describe just how insane, exciting and downright brilliant Lady Terminator really is." - Casey

Should I watch it?
Yes!! Mandatory viewing.

Where can I find it?
On YouTube
And this is the superior DVD version, as the older VHS version was censored and edited incorrectly.

Lady Terminator gets...