Space Truckers (1996)

"Where's my beer and when do I get paid?" -  John

John Canyon is one of the last independent space truckers hauling cargo around the solar system, but his latest shipment ends up being something that space pirates and space politicians both want to get their evil hands on.
Starring: Dennis Hopper, Stephen Dorff, Debi Mazar, Charles Dance

Link to IMDB

When a movie is called Space Truckers and stars Dennis Hopper, you know it's a movie that you just have to see! My initial concern was that Hopper would not actually be the main character, and instead the younger Stephen Dorff would get to do all the heroic stuff. But, no! Hopper takes center stage, and carries the whole movie through as the gruff anti-hero, John Canyon.

Space aces !

The movie opens with a quick introduction of evil scientists and politicians developing killer robots, and it's safe to assume that they'll be causing problems later, but within minutes we're elsewhere in the solar system meeting John as he eats a hotdog in the zero gravity of his spaceship. John's delivering his latest shipment of square pigs to a space station, but he's a bit late, so the boss (played by George Wendt) is not impressed and ends up stealing John's cargo so that a younger trucker, Mike, can finish the job instead. This all culminates in a brawl at the local diner, where John and Mike realize they have to work together to survive. They agree to take a mysterious shipment to Earth, which allows them to escape from the station before the law can intervene. Love interest, Cindy, comes along as John has promised to get her home to Earth.

Space villain !

When their ship gets damaged in an asteroid field, they are "saved" by space pirates, but it doesn't take long for the pirates to realize what the special cargo actually is. The killer robots from the opening scene, of course!

Charles Dance is terrific as the twisted villain. It's a real treat to see him fully embrace playing such a creepy guy, and he gets some hilarious material to work with. Being a fan of him in Game of Thrones makes his performance here even more enjoyable, because he really gets to have fun with the character and steals the show.

All of the special effects look great too, despite not having the biggest budget behind them. They really showcase some good makeup, miniatures, costumes, and even creative camera tricks to give the illusion of zero gravity. There's a few places where cheap CGI is used (it is 1996 after all,) but it only adds to the cheesy mood that the movie was aiming for.

"If I had an anus, I'd probably soil myself."  - Macanudo

It's all good fun until the last 20 minutes. One big firefight with the pirates was more than enough, but then they also have to deal with all the robots which begins to get tiring. I just wanted them to hurry up and get to Earth because everyone had stopped being interesting. And then the forgettable politician still had to wrap up his plot line! It's a weak ending to an otherwise very enjoyable movie.


Be sure not to miss:
- Why did they introduce the mom at very the last minute? What?
- There's a few good cameos to see, like Mike Hagerty and Vernon Wells
- The same director as the classics, Re-Animator and From Beyond
- Square pigs!








Internet review:
"Cliche filled and cheesy, sure, but this is FIRST CLASS CHEESE here."  - Jakealley

Should I watch it?
Recommended. And where else will you ever see square pigs!?

Where can I find it?
Primewire has some good links, and I think it's on Netflix

Space Truckers gets...