Majestic Thunderbolt (1985)

"It's my special assignment to send you to hell." - Allan Peng

A bunch of bad guys are trying to kill each other to get some diamonds... or something.
Starring: Richard Harrison, Phillip Ko, John Ladalski, Kuan Tai Chen, Kathy Evan, Peng Tien

Link to IMDB

An American named Richard arrives in Hong Kong and promptly has his briefcase full of diamonds stolen from him! He plans on getting revenge, but you might as well just forget about Richard because he's barely in the movie.
Instead, the focus is on a whole bunch of high class criminals trying kill each other. There's also a few mentions of the diamonds being moved around, but we never actually see them again.

Richard                           Allan Peng                                Chan                              Franco

Franco is the leader of one gang, while Chan is his rival... But really, things are so confusing here that it's hard to follow who works for who and who is trying to kill who. There are a lot of characters (with new ones being introduced right up until the end,) but the only important thing you really need to know is that everyone is scheming to kill each other.

Anyways, the second half gets more exciting, especially when an assassin named Allan Peng starts killing off his rivals in very interesting ways. We do get to see Richard occasionally, to remind us that he wants revenge, and he does get a big fight at the end.

"There will be plenty of opportunities to kill." - Franco

??????

It was easy to find laughs throughout, but there's a lot of muddled and confusing scenes to sit through to find the handful of truly amazing moments of pure hilarious audacity. The movie isn't afraid to go full bonkers when it wants to, especially with the violence.

Exploding toilets, acid showers, exploding chickens, black magic, and synchronized swimming.... That's just a sample of the oddities on display here.

And some kung fu, of course

Be sure not to miss:
- The Private Investigator's eyebrow-acting skills.
- The chickens.
- Franco's cigarette holder looks like a vibrator.
- You can hear about 30 seconds of Careful with that Axe, Eugene by Pink Floyd. It's really out of place and there's no way they had permission to use it.

Internet review:
"This is all sorts of incomprehensible." - drauch58

Should I watch it?
Maybe...?

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Majestic Thunderbolt gets...