Hot Moves (1985)

"Here's to getting laid." - Barry

Four guys try to lose their virginity before summer ends.
Starring: Adam Silbar, Michael Zorek, Jeff Fishman, Johnny Timko, Jill Schoelen

Link to IMDB

Michael, Barry, Joey, and Scotty are not the most popular guys in highschool, but now that summer vacation is here they're eager to have some good times. All desperate to lose their virginity before they have to go back to school, they make a pact to do whatever it takes to find some sex.

Michael is sort-of dating a girl a named Julie Anne, but she's not ready to commit to sex, so this leaves Michael just as desperate as his pals as they begin their hunt for girls on the beaches.
It's not too long before Barry actually finds a chance with a lady, but he totally messes up with his clumsiness, of course, because the movie is diving head first into screwball comedy.

The guys

Julie Anne

Much of the movie follows the formula of the guys almost finding success, but they are always thwarted by bad luck, cooler guys, or their own immature goofiness. They go to parties, spy on nudists, and even attempt to buy a hooker; but no one is getting laid.

The only real narrative is that Michael and Julie Anne are still trying to connect. There's an attempt at some sentimental teen romance here, but it doesn't really work because the rest of the movie is all sloppy nudity and low-brow antics.

One thing that I really noticed was how often the guys are just sitting in diners complaining. No wonder they never get laid, they can't stop eating hamburgers for more than 10 minutes!

Michael: "You're disgusting."
Barry: "Yeah, but I'm also lovable."

Lots of this

There are some choice moments where the movie made my chuckle, but most of the comedy is so predictable that it never worked for me. Although I was surprised to find that the movie isn't as sleazy as I was expecting, because the guys are so gullible and innocent that they don't come across as being creeps or jerks.

I tend to enjoy the brainless teenage-sex-comedy-on-the-beach genre, but my hams just weren't exploding with this one, so it's largely a miss.


Be sure not to miss:
- The teddy bear that has Barry's face. What the hell?
- Slamming shots of ketchup reminded me of my own highschool years.
- Joey's dream sequence is wack.

Internet review:
"I might watch it again - as long as no one else ever knew." - XscumbagX

Should I watch it?
Don't bother.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Hot Moves gets...