The Lords of Magick (1989)

"First you molest my girl, and then you sucker me into this idiotic quest of yours!"  - Tommy

A pair of wizard bros from 10th century England show up in modern-day California to save a princess, and in the process they mess with a lot of innocent lives.
Starring: It really doesn't matter, but the one guy looks like Bob Seger. John Clark has a cameo.

Link to IMDB

Shirtless and clueless

It all begins with a cartoon scroll explaining some back-story while surrounded by wisps of marijuana smoke. This is probably the most normal part of the whole movie.
After a glimpse of what the villain is up to, we finally meet the wizard bros as they go to the tavern to get drunk with prostitutes...? Wait, what? I guess even wizards needed to cut loose back then. One of the first things you'll notice is that despite the video quality being terrible, the special effects are actually pretty good.
If you think the beginning is strange, just wait until they finally head to the future. This is not your typical "old time person in the future" story at all.


It takes them less than ten minutes to assault a lady,
get arrested, start a gang fight, and become fugitives... But what's really crazy is that it's all their own fault! There are no humorous misunderstandings, these guys are straight-up wizard jerks!
Soon they meet Tommy, who is a modern wizard nerd, and he agrees to help them stop the evil villain and rescue the princess. Even with Tommy's modern experience it takes them forever to get anything done because they can't stop getting into fights, crashing cars, and learning just how difficult the library card registration process can be.

This spells trouble !

While all of this chaos is happening I kept forgetting what the main goal was, but it's an enjoyable type of absurdity that you just gotta roll with. And just when you think that the movie is running out of ideas, there's a big plot twist! I was actually surprised the writers followed through with it, and it makes for a great climactic battle at the end between good and evil.

"Would thee forgive a poor, drunken magician?"  - Ulric

I am pretty sure Ulirc is always drunk

Be sure not to miss:
- The villains hideout is a cardboard box factory... Or he's a very tidy hoarder.
- Sparkle swords!
- The final moment in the movie... Really!?

Internet review:
"If this came out in 1982 I woulda shit enough bricks to build a castle with a moat and a level twelve dungeon." - iGame3D

Should I watch it?
There are some painful parts, but it's so bizarre you can't miss this one.

Where can I find it?
The only version I could find was a YouTube playlist But it all flows together as one.

The Lords of Magick gets...