"Congratulations, Charlie, you have just murdered the ship." - Al
The critters do their thing on a space station.
Starring: Don Keith Opper, Brad Dourif, Paul Whitthorne, Angela Bassett, Anders Hove
Link to IMDB
The movie begins right where Critters 3 ended... Charlie is contacted by the bounty hunters and instructed to place the last two critter eggs in a space capsule so that they can be preserved forever in safety. Charlie, being the goofball that he is, gets trapped in the capsule as well which sends him deep into outer space.Wait a minute... Charlie is now the main character!?
Well, this already sounds like a terrible idea.
Charlie is frozen in the capsule for 50 years until it is found by a spaceship out near Saturn. We spend a lot of time getting to know the crew of the ship before anything happens. The Captain is a real jerk, but the rest of the crew seems cool. Among them there's Al, Fran and a young guy named Ethan.
Everyone's arguing if they should deliver the capsule to the space authorities, or if they should sell it as salvage. It takes more than 30 minutes before the greedy Captain inevitably opens it, releasing Charlie and the critters... Although I don't know which is worse!
 |
| Captain Ethan Al Fran |
Once the critters are free, Charlie explains the situation to the terrified crew, and he decides it's time to put his bounty hunter skills to the test. And then a whole lot of nothing proceeds to happen... For a very long time.
This movie is so goddamn dull and lifeless that it was a pain to watch. There was some potential at the start, because life aboard the spaceship is established really well, but there's basically nothing here to maintain any excitement.
The critters are barely in the movie at all. Instead, the focus is on the humans constantly arguing and/or running around in dark corridors. One of the few redeeming aspects is that most of the cast is pretty good, especially Brad Dourif and Angela Bassett. They commit to the movie and add some much needed intensity. They know they're up to their eyeballs in shit, but at least they try to make it work.
It's a shame to see a franchise that started with lots of energy and creative ideas get all the excitement drained out. Definitely skip this one, because all I could think after the first 45 minutes was "Please end!!!"
Be sure not to miss:
- Some nice Astro-Turf furniture.
- Eric DaRe has a small role, and Terrence Mann makes a reappearance as Ug.
Internet review:
"This movie can fuck off." - HollyHorror
Should I watch it?
NO!
Where can I find it?
Links here.
Critters 4 gets...
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