Chopper Chicks in Zombietown (1989)

"Blind kids, a midget, dykes on bikes... We could start a side-show." - Lance

aka: Chrome Hearts
A group of female bikers discover a horde of zombies.
Starring: Jamie Rose, Catherine Carlen, Lycia Naff, Gretchen Palmer, Don Calfa, Ed Gale

Link to IMDB

The Cycle Sluts are a female biker gang cruising the highways, but they unknowingly stumble into a dangerous situation when they stop to refuel in the small desert town of Zariah. It seems that the town's coroner, Ralph, has been turning the recently deceased into zombies!! Ralph keeps his ghouls hidden in a nearby cave, but it's obvious they're on the verge of breaking out.

The biker ladies are just having drinks and looking for some quick romance, and the only thing even remotely resembling a plot is that Ralph has hired a diminutive hitman to kill the ladies so he can turn them into zombies.
But really, nothing is happening in this movie! Everyone is just sitting around arguing. Oh god, there's so much arguing in this movie!

"I didn't do it for science, and I didn't do it for glory. I'm just mean!!" - Ralph

Ralph

There also happens to be a bus tour of blind orphans in town, but they're just here to add more wackiness to an already annoyingly goofy movie. The silly tone is established right away, and along with it comes horrid cartoon music that accentuates when the supposed "comedy" is happening, but it only got on my nerves because I couldn't find much to entertain myself with.

Pretty much nothing happens until the zombie horde arrives, at which point a whole lot more of nothing occurs. I'm serious. Every time that I thought something exciting was going to happen, I got denied. (Except the arguments, there's an unlimited supply of those to see.)

Zombies wandering.
(They're almost as bored as I am.)

All the ingredients are here for a movie that I should love, but instead it just filled me with apathy.
The only redeeming factor here is how weird much of the movie feels. It's that special type of zany weirdness that cannot be created on purpose, but unfortunately it's difficult to appreciate here because it gets smothered by an avalanche of irritating boredom.

Be sure not to miss:
- Billy Bob Thornton has a small role.
- The movie doesn't even give names for half the characters. That's how much it tried.

Internet review:
"Avoid it like the plague." - Tiger Spa

Should I watch it?
No!

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Chopper Chicks & Zombies gets...