The Shepherd (1999)

"There’s a special place for you in Satan’s asshole!" - Sophia

aka: Cybercity
In a post-apocalyptic underground society, a man works as an assassin among rival cults.
Starring: C. Thomas Howell, Heidi von Palleske, Mackenzie Gray, with Roddy Piper

Link to IMDB

I'm trying to find a good Roddy Piper movie that we haven't seen yet. So far, no luck.

More like, Duh-kota

In the near future, humans have ravaged the surface of Earth with the ultimate war, forcing all the survivors to now live underground in slum cities. Dozens of religious cults control the populace, acting more like street gangs than spiritual advisers. They lie, cheat and kill to gain power over each other, using their shepherds to do the dirty work. Shepherds exist to "protect the people" but are basically just hitmen.

The most powerful cult is ruled by Miles (Roddy Piper) but he's feeling threatened by a rival gang led by Sophia, so he sends his best shepherd, the gruff Dakota, to assassinate one of her best.
Dakota is a solitary guy, mourning the loss of his wife and son. Miles and his right-hand man, Lyndon, agree that Dakota should be killed too, as he's become a non-believer.


When Dakota goes to get the job done, he sees his target is a mother and child, and he can't go through with the hit. Now his life is in even more danger, as he and the woman and child go on the run from Miles and Lyndon's army of goons. It all sounds like a decent premise, but...
The movie starts slow and refuses to ever gain momentum. Even the occasional action scene is boring. It feels like the plot is just being made up as they go, because nothing happens worth any interest. Just some stuff. Stuff happens.

Roddy only has a few scenes, but he's intense as a villainous evangelist. It's actually Lyndon (Mackenzie Gray) that gets all the amusing lines and is the real antagonist anyways, as he's always one step behind Dakota. Lyndon was pretty cool, for a bad guy. As for C. Thomas Howell, well he's about as interesting as soggy cardboard.

"How do you see the light with your head so far up your ass?" - Lyndon

Occasionally, there's a glimpse of something interesting, like the streets being patrolled by machine gun wielding robots, and some brief fights. But most of the movie expects you to be thrilled by dirty back-alleys and slow-mo sex scenes.
Will Dakota find redemption? I honestly can't remember, because who cares!?
In this case, the low IMDB rating correctly reflects what you get.

Be sure not to miss:
- The best part of the movie is David Carradine's few small scenes as a demented ventriloquist. He gets about five minutes to spout some hilarious stuff, but otherwise has nothing to do with the movie.
- The news anchor flashing her breasts for no reason.

Internet review:
"A better title would have been 'Random Post-Apocalypse Crap On A Budget.' "  - Ziggy

Should I watch it?
Nope!
Only worth it for the amazing Carradine performance. I wish I could find those scenes on YouTube.

Where can I find it?
Here on stagevu.

Shepherd gets... (mostly for Roddy and Carradine)