The Time Guardian (1987)

"Let's get these tin cans!" - Ballard

A soldier from the future must save Earth from cyborgs.
Starring: Tom Burlinson, Nikki Coghill, and a little bit of Carrie Fisher and Dean Stockwell

Link to IMDB

Ballard

In the year 4039, Earth has become a barren wasteland and humanity has almost been annihilated by killer cyborgs, but one city remains protected by technology that allows it to move through space and time. As the number of human soldiers begins to dwindle against the cyborg onslaught, the City decides to jump back in time to hide, and their destination is Australia circa 1988. Sounds simple, right? Well this movie has one of the most confusing, poorly explained openings I've ever seen! I was scratching my head for 15 minutes trying to piece it all together!

While the City is traveling through time (apparently time travel takes a lot of time,) two soldiers, Ballard and Petra, are teleported to 1988 in order to prepare for it's arrival (apparently time travel can also be instantaneous.)
A small army of deadly cyborgs are right behind them, using their own time travel ships to chase after the soldiers.

Annie

Next, we meet Annie. She's a local anthropologist digging around in the outback, and when she stumbles upon Ballard and Petra she gets pulled into the fight against the cyborgs. Petra (Carrie Fisher) gets wounded and spends the rest of the movie napping, so it's good that Ballard now has Annie to help him navigate the 80's.
As the two gather supplies to build defenses there's an annoying subplot about the local cops hassling them and it just feels like filler. Meanwhile, back in the City, the mayor (Dean Stockwell) is preparing everyone for the coming fight.
With the fate of the present and future in the balance the stakes are high, but can Ballard and Annie be the "time guardians" that the City needs in order to be saved from destruction!?

"The time guardian has run out of time." - Cyborg

* aggressive bleep bloops *

Even though the muddled plot requires that you read the description on the back of the VHS box before, during and after viewing, this was actually quite fun and it even has some originality despite borrowing from all the popular sci-fi movies of the 80's. But it doesn't have enough endurance to sustain 90 minutes and eventually the momentum starts to dwindle. Ballard also makes for a lame hero, and Annie became the only character I even remotely cared about.

Barely in the movie

What's sincerely impressive here are the special effects. There are plenty of practical effects to please the eye, and the high quality of them rivals what Hollywood was doing at the time. The huge explosive battles with full costumed cyborgs walking around are pretty cool, and since it's all done in camera it gives a visceral feel to the action.
Although flawed, they did piece together a decent sci-fi movie that is more than just an imitation of what America was making.

Be sure not to miss:
- The freezing urination scene. That's gotta hurt!
- Yes, their metal armor has nipples.
- The cheesy love song at the end credits was a nice surprise.
- Is one guy wearing a duck costume?

Internet review:
"This is more epic and fun that it has any right to be." - findlay

Should I watch it?
It's neat, but not a must see.

Where can I find it?
Link here.

Time Guardian gets...