Brides of Blood (1968)

"We didn't come here expecting to find laundromats." - Jim

Scientists discover mutants on a small island.
Starring: Kent Taylor, Beverly Powers, John Ashley, Mario Montenegro

Link to IMDB

Dr. Paul Henderson and his colleague Jim are arriving on Blood Island to study the effects that nearby atomic bomb tests might have had on the flora and fauna. Along for the ride is Paul's sassy wife, Carla, who is so bored that she flirts with every man she meets.
A small village of indigenous people greet them warmly, but the chief shamefully explains that his tribe has become troubled, resorting to some of their more superstitious and primitive ways. This might explain why they were dumping bodies into the sea, but the tribe keeps their problems a secret.
Paul soon discovers radiated land crabs and peculiar plant growth, but he needs more information to decide if the humans have been put at risk.

Jim,  Carla,  Paul

Esteban

The three Americans get an invitation to meet Esteban, a rich man that has a large mansion in the jungle, but he seems a bit suspicious of Paul's research.
The plot's been moving along at the pace of a wounded land crab so far, but things get more interesting when the plants of the jungle begin attacking the group with their vines and branches! It's low budget madness, but still rather effective at being weird and creepy.

Atomic radiation has indeed changed life on the island, and the trio discover the shocking magnitude of these mutations when they witness the local tribe sacrificing young women to a savage, mutant monster!
(A very derpy looking mutant monster, I might add.)



Jim and Paul want the villagers to fight back against the creature, but they're all convinced that the sacrifices are the best way to keep the increasingly violent trees from killing them. Esteban provides a plan to help, but he's also hiding some secrets about the island which gives the bonkers third act a nice twist... Meanwhile, Carla's off somewhere trying to get laid.

"The beast continues to wallow in an orgy of blood." - Jim

This movie can be incredibly dull at times, with many scenes consisting of Paul and Carla's marital woes, tea time with Esteban, and everyone wandering around the jungle. It's a mix of a 50's monster-movie and grindhouse horror, but it hasn't aged well and is just too slow to remain exciting. The outrageously wooden seriousness makes everyone seem like they're sedated on NyQuil, which is slightly entertaining in its own way.

Derp

There's also some very strange and awkward dialog here. It was clearly written by aliens whom only had a cursory knowledge of how humans talk.
Let's examine a sample here, as Carla and Paul watch the sun set...

Carla: "It's beautiful."
Paul: "I am puzzled by this statement. Today's sunset is breathtakingly beautiful, but otherwise it's quite normal."
Carla: "Like a mortuary light reflected from a corpse."

Umm, what? Wacky exchanges like that were continuously a highlight.

Be sure not to miss:
- The moth, and it's very not-special effects.
- Where did Esteban get all these little people?
- At the 51:10 mark, proof that Jim has clearly been using the Thigh Master.

Internet review:
"It's a shitty monster surrounded by shitty actors in a crappy movie and that all adds up to a wonderful experience." - Trombone James

Should I watch it?
I don't know, but I'm curious enough to delve deeper into this Filipino "Blood Island" series.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Brides of Blood gets...