Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985)

"Was it rats?" - Keith

aka: Hell Island
Survivors of a shipwreck find trouble on a deserted island.
Starring: Robert Nolfi, Julia Rust, Robert Lengyel, Lisa Pak, John Vichiola

Link to IMDB

Somewhere in the Atlantic ocean a shipwrecked group of about eight tourists land on an unknown island. Everyone is suitably frightened and argumentative as they assess their situation and try to think of what to do next. They head inland with the hopes of finding food, shelter or any sign of civilization. Their arrival has not gone unnoticed, as a small figure in the forest is secretly watching them.

Two of the main characters are John and Mr. Morgan, and in-between arguments they keep the party stumbling along through a plethora of walking scenes, but at least it establishes the seriousness and isolation of their situation.
They soon discover the island has mysterious dangers when one guy falls into a pond of acid that melts his skin off!! It feels totally random, but it's a great chance for some bloody gore.
Despite the tragedy, everyone keeps their composure for one of the most unnecessarily comprehensive berry-picking scenes ever.

"You wanna pick the berries!? Then you pick the berries!!" - Phillip

Definitely not rats

Nighttime finally arrives and we get some payoff on the pervasive sense that the group has been watched and followed by something unknown.
As the title claims, they're not beasts and they're not creatures, they are "beast creatures!!" And holy shit, they look funny.
They have the size and temperament of rabid squirrels, and these vicious little buggers attack the group with razor sharp teeth and claws!

Bitten, bruised and terrified, the group continue their trek across Connecticut the island. The critters persist in their harassment, which results in many great moments of unintentional comedy as we watch these people fight back against the little, clunky wooden puppets.

The group dynamic begins to crumble, as the survivors unknowingly walk towards more secrets that the island has kept hidden.

With basically zero plot progression and no character development, this is a bare-bones little story, but that's all it needs to be. Despite the terrible acting and illogical dialog, it's delivered sincerely enough that the suspense kinda works. The spooky, yet charming synth music also helps, as it adds an unnecessary epic quality to otherwise dull moments (like picking berries.)

when Beast Creatures attack

I imagine some sections would bore people to tears, but I must have been in the perfect mood because I enjoyed it much more than common sense can justify. It's often muddy and always awkward, but I continually found laughs and enjoyment at the absurd delivery.

Be sure not to miss:
- Set in 1920... For no apparent reason.
- When they find the guy that melted in the acid, John kneels down and touches the guy's shoe as if to check for a pulse or something. I have no idea why, but that tiny detail just killed me!

Internet review:
"Words simply cannot describe how deliciously awful and hopelessly funny this is." - tabeechey

Should I watch it?
Recommended for the unintentional laughs.

Where can I find it?
Here on YouTube.

Beast Creatures gets...