Cave Girl (1985)

"How would you like to sit on my face?" - Rex

An idiot travels back to prehistoric time and finds love.
Starring: Daniel Roebuck, Cynthia Thompson, Darren Young, Jeff Chayette

Link to IMDB

Rex is the type of nerd that only exists in cheesy movies. He's a clumsy dork that is the butt of every joke at the community college he attends. The girls think he's a weirdo and the boys pull pranks on him, but Rex's passion for archeology makes him a good student.

The class goes on a field trip to an old coal mine where they look at dirt and cave paintings underground, but Rex wanders off and discovers a glowing crystal which zaps him back in time 25,000 years!!

Rex is confused until he meets some cave men and realizes what has happened. As a scientist, Rex is excited to witness history first-hand but he also has no idea how to survive in the wild. Luckily, he also meets Eba. She's a total cave babe and she takes a liking to Rex because he's different and doesn't stink like shit. Despite not understanding each other's language they quickly bond.

Rex and Eba might have become friends, but it takes awhile for the rest of her tribe to trust a strange man with a backpack full of scary things like cassette players. The only thing Rex is interested in is having sex with Eba... And it gets weird! He's constantly trying to get her to sit on his face, and his attempts at tricking her into fooling around makes him seem like a creepy pervert. Rex is so clueless and annoying that you just want to punch him.
That's pretty much the rest of the movie.
There is no real narrative to follow until the last ten minutes.


The amount of stupid low-brow jokes and slapstick antics in this movie instead of an actual plot gets pretty annoying. Most of the "comedy" is just meaningless filler. A scene of Rex trying to get fresh with Eba is followed by a scene of the tribe bonking each other over the head. Repeat ad nauseam.




I did get a few laughs, but it was never at the intended humour. I was laughing at the movie, not with it. Eba is the only character that I didn't despise, but the fact that she likes Rex makes me question her mental capacity, even by prehistoric measures. The occasional laugh and a slightly sentimental love story do not save this from being an annoying movie. Rex is just too exasperating to spend time with!

Meeting the tribe.

Be sure not to miss:
- Skull magazine.
- A few awesome SSQ songs make an appearance.
- Based on Eba's reaction, I'd like to buy a few cases of Rex's deodorant.

Internet review:
"Sounds like fun... It's not!" - PeteyDude

Should I watch it?
Not really.

Where can I find it?
Links here. vidzi

Cave Girl gets...