I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)

"Let's go kick some bottom!" - Priest

A young man buys a motorbike that is possessed by a vampire demon.
Starring: Neil Morrissey, Anthony Daniels, Amanda Noar, Michael Elphick

Link to IMDB

Noddy, the common bloke.

It's a spooky night in the city as we see a biker gang doing some black magic to summon a demon, but then a rival gang shows up and starts killing them all with shotguns! The ritual still succeeds, and a little demon ghost pops up and flies into one of the dead bikers. Now in control of the body, the demon walks over to a motorcycle and proceeds to fill the gas tank with biker blood, thereby transferring its powers into the bike! I guess a human host just wasn't cool enough for this demon.

The next day we meet a guy named Noddy, as he's buying the seemingly normal bike from a mechanic. He gets a good deal considering the bike is damaged and won't even start. Although, after a few drops of blood accidentally spill on it the bike begins to work again. It's not long before one of Noddy's friends ends up dead, and from the crime scene it looks like a motorbike wrecked the place. But Noddy and Inspector Cleaver have no reason to suspect a killer bike...Not yet!

The Priest rides in style, too.

When Noddy goes out for a ride one night the bike recognizes the rival gang and it takes control of the driving, introducing Noddy to a bunch of gang problems. He also begins to have nightmares about his dead friend and (I kid you not) a talking turd! The movie has lots of silliness but also tries to build suspense about the bike. It often works, but the first half of the movie mainly focuses on Noddy dealing with the gang that is after him. It's not until the second half that the movie really starts to shine, when it embraces the supernatural aspects more.
The bike's power begins to grow as it drives around killing gang members in bloody ways. Noddy begins to realize his bike is possessed after it tries to hurt his girlfriend, so he goes to the local priest to get some help.

"Perhaps you've been watching too many video horribles." - Priest

It takes some convincing, but when the priest discovers the truth he plans to battle the demon and perform an exorcism. This is when the fun really begins, and everything gets even weirder than before. Even the idiotic Noddy becomes more likable, as he and the bad-ass priest make a great team. The bike is more powerful than expected, and it's going to take everyone working together to stop the evil machine.
Instead of attempting to be a serious thriller, the idea of a vampire motorcycle is given freedom to be as silly as it should be. Maybe not a classic, but still a good entry in the comedy horror genre.

Be sure not to miss:
- Crucifix shuriken.
- Fu-King Chinese takeout.
- Recognize the priest? He's the actor that played C3-PO.
- Gotta love that phrase, "video horribles."

Internet review:
"This is clearly the best vampire motorcycle movie ever made."  - Jim

this is clearly the best Birmingham-based vampire motorcycle movie ever made. - See more at: http://www.eatmybrains.com/showreview.php?id=127#sthash.GGIvBhft.dpuf

this is clearly the best Birmingham-based vampire motorcycle movie ever made. - See more at: http://www.eatmybrains.com/showreview.php?id=127#sthash.GGIvBhft.dpuf

Should I watch it?
Yeah, after a slow start it ends up very entertaining.

Where can I find it?
I used the vodlocker link here.

Vampire Motorcycle gets...